The Deal
by Mr. GOP 88
Summary: Ryan becomes a hostage at a bank on the way home from work. Now, the Detective must negotiate a deal with his captor to get him and everyone else out alive. First person point of view.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer**: _Castle_ and the recognizable characters are property of the folks at ABC and their creators who make a lot more money than I do. This is for pure entertainment purposes.

_Howdy everyone. This is my first Castle multi-chap fic as well as the first one I've tried from first-person point of view. I've got most of it written so postings should come relatively quickly. I hope you all enjoy._

* * *

Up on the roof of one of the buildings across the street from the bank branch, SWAT Officer Clark Reed sets up his rifle and waits for the order. Looking through his scope, he sees the hostage taker who is waving his gun at one of the hostages. Actually, to be more specific, he sees his target waving a gun at one of their own. Reed had been briefed beforehand that a cop had somehow gotten caught up in this whole situation.

Reed adjusts his rifle, training it on the gunman. The tell-tale red dot appears on the man's chest. "This is Reed." He talks into his microphone "I've got a shot."

"Hold steady." The order comes in.

Reed does what he's told, although it is frustrating. He could've taken the gunman out right then, solvingthis whole situation. As if that weren't enough, the gunman decides to move, and so does the cop who's inside. Now it's his fellow officer that Reed has in his scope.

"I've lost my clean shot." He reports.

"Roger that, hold your position."

_It's not like I'll be doing anything else_ Reed grouses to himself. He keeps a focus on the situation through his rifle. The argument is getting heated. Reed tries to adjust his position to get a clean shot at the gunman, but there isn't one without the danger of hitting their man.

"Damn it." He curses.

* * *

Inside the bank two men: one a hostage, that would be me, and the other a hostage-taker engage in our frustrating back-and-forth.

"We have to make some kind of final deal."

"Not under those guidelines."

"I've been more than fair. You know that I'll get you a reasonable deal."

"If I don't accept it, then it isn't reasonable is it?"

The two of us continue our haggling, neither one giving ground. I'm exhausted, and want to do nothing more than get out of this mess and go home. But that has to wait. This has to be solved. A deal has to be made.

It sounds like the start of a bad joke; an NYPD detective and a hostage-taker engage in a standoff in a bank. But there is no follow up or punch line. Instead, what have followed have been negotiations for over four hours. It's gone from late afternoon to evening, and the dark of night has enveloped the City. Neither of us has eaten, or gone to the bathroom. With all the adrenaline surging through because of it all, this has become almost as much an endurance test as it is anything else. The two of us have stared at each other for four long hours, waiting to see when the other will break. So far, both of us have stayed firm.

Taking a deep breath, I plunge ahead yet again. I have one real goal with all of this; get as many people out of here as quickly as I can. "I've already told you, I'm willing to be your hostage and bargaining chip. But you have to let these other people go. Once that's taken care of, we can move on to other things."

"And I'm telling you Detective, one hostage, even a cop hostage is not enough. I know how your colleagues will react." The other man, who will only call himself 'Phil' asserts. "I'm getting bored with all of this. Maybe I shouldn't even be making any more deals." He muses aloud.

"Bullshit." I dismiss his threat. "If you weren't willing to do a deal, I'd already be dead and frankly so would you."

All around us in the bank lobby, the other hostages watch in fear. All of them are on the ground and have backed away from the two of us, wanting to be far away when something happens. It isn't a great vote of confidence in me. I've looked at their faces and in their eyes and feel nothing but sympathy for them. They're normal people caught up in an awful situation that isn't their fault. I can tell that they are increasingly antsy and concerned that this will end badly and everyone will end up dead. My job is to not let that happen.

"You still haven't given me a number Phil. What am I supposed to tell everyone out there?"

"Nothing yet, we don't have a deal."

I butt my head against the pillar behind me in frustration. This is getting ridiculous; four hours of negotiations between us has gotten nowhere. Sure, there had been some minor deals here and there, but finding a way out of this for him, me, and the remaining hostages is proving far more difficult. He's not unreasonable, but his logic can be hard to follow and harder to anticipate.

I quickly glance outside. In one of the far off corners of my line of sight, I spot the figures of my team. My stomach turns at the look of worry on their faces. For a moment, I lock eyes with my partner. He gives me a clear, unambiguous signal; _you're getting your ass out of this alive_.

Behind them, I see another face. Oh God, it's _her_. Shit, I did not want her to be here, just in case something does go wrong. But she is here, and that gives me an increased motivator to find a way out of this alive. Because if I don't, she and my partner are both going to take turns killing me.

"I'm starting to get impatient." Phil says, casually waving the gun at me. It's his way of showing me that he has control and is in charge. He's done this a couple of times since this whole mess started. It doesn't get any less intimidating the more it happens.

"Fine, I want another hostage released."

"That's very predictable; you've already asked that four times."

"And you've been willing to do it." I point out.

"True." He concedes. "But, I'm done with small deals. Time to go big or go home Detective Ryan."

* * *

_Good? Less than good? Either way any feedback you have would be greatly appreciated. I'll try to have Chap. 2 up this week._


	2. Introductions

**Disclaimer**: _Castle_ and the recognizable characters are property of the folks at ABC and their creators who make a lot more money than I do. This is for pure entertainment purposes.

_Wow, thank you all for the warm reception and interest in this story. I really appreciate it, especially those of you who have followed, made it a favorite and especially sent a review. With all that said, here's Chapter Two._

* * *

Chapter 2: Introductions

Four hours ago, everything was quiet, or at least as quiet as it could be for New York City and the 12th Precinct. There was no new case to work on, and the never-ending stream of paperwork had slowed to a trickle. By 5:00 pm, it was probably one of the slowest days we've had on record. I'm honestly surprised that Castle stayed the whole day; there has been nothing today that would inspire a light drizzle, much less a creative brain storm.

As the clock strikes 5:00, I gratefully shut down my computer and check my cell phone after I hear a _ping_.The text message from my wife makes me smile: _Date night?_ I quickly type out a reply:_ absolutely, see you soon_.

"Hey bro, want to go grab some drinks?" Esposito asks me as he cleans up and gets ready to leave.

"Sorry Javi, Jenny and I are having a date night. Maybe next time."

Esposito rolls his eyes. "Alright bro, see you tomorrow."

I wave goodnight to him, Castle and Beckett and heads down the stairs. With traffic already picking up, I decide to walk to the nearest subway station to get home. The cool October air feels wonderful and refreshing; this summer was brutally hot and any sort of relief is welcome. It seems that everyone else in the City is also taking advantage of the cooler weather; the sidewalk is almost as crowded as the roads.

As I cross the street and dodge traffic, I have an extra spring in my step as I daydream about date night with Jenny. It's been a while since we've had a night to ourselves; we've both just been too busy with work. The thought of a quiet, romantic dinner at home, just the two of us, is enough to make me smile. I can picture her at our place, starting on the pasta, slicing vegetables or getting the dishes ready. All the while looking more beautiful than anyone else I've ever met. I try to think of something romantic to get her as a surprise. Maybe a bottle of the type of red wine that she loves so much? Maybe flowers? I remember that there's a flower stand not two blocks from our apartment. That'll be perfect; a dozen roses for our date.

Now less just a block away from the subway station, I'm about to send Jenny another text message when there is a loud _pop, pop_ sound. My training tells me that it is gunfire. I immediately pull out my gun and badge and race towards the sound of the gunshots. It's coming from a corner branch of the Bank of New York. Inside is a man in a sweater and jeans, brandishing a gun and holding the staff and customers hostage. He sees me, with gun and badge, and immediately grabs one of the hostages and holds her at gunpoint in front of him. He yells "drop it!" to me. I don't comply and the gunman pushes his weapon into the woman's temple. She screams and stares at me with twin looks of terror and fear.

There are two things that I can do in this situation. One is the smart decision; to retreat from the window and call for back-up from Hostage Rescue. It's smart, safe and standard procedure. But if I do this, I won't know what happens to the hostages in the time it takes for Hostage Rescue to arrive. I would be walking away from those people who need help. I can't let that happen. That leaves option number two. It's stupid, reckless and Gates will chew me up and spit me out for doing it, but it's the only option that my conscience will let me follow.

I make eye contact with the gunman. He watches me closely as I lower my weapon. He still won't release the woman. Swallowing nervously, I throw my piece away and pull the door open to go inside, hands raised.

"Who the hell are you!?" The gunman shouts, pointing his weapon at me.

"I'm Detective Kevin Ryan with the NYPD. Put the gun down and we can talk." I keep my hands up and talk as calmly as I possibly can.

"Why would you think I want to talk?" He still has a hold of his hostage who looks absolutely terrified. I need to get him to release her.

"I don't, but I'm here if you want to. Just let her go."

The gunman regards with a curious expression on his face. After what feels like an eternity, he releases the female hostage who scrambles to get away from him as quickly as possible. The other hostages take the opportunity to move backwards a bit as well.

"I don't trust you." He tells me bluntly.

"You can look; that was my only weapon."

He comes up to me and pats me down with one hand. I feel relieved when he doesn't confiscate my cell phone. In the other hand he keeps his gun firmly pointed at me.

"What's your name?" I ask as he finishes up.

"None of your damn business." He snarls.

"I need something to call you."

"Boss or Sir works for me."

"Try again." I tell him. I'm not going to let this guy think of himself as my superior, even if he does have a gun. If we're going to negotiate, it'll be as equals.

This doesn't go over well with the gunman, who stares at me with a murderous rage in his eyes. He sticks his gun directly in my face. "WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK IS IN CHARGE HERE? I HAVE THE GUN!" He roars. A couple of other hostages let out a startled scream.

_Stay calm, stay calm_ I tell myself, even though my heart is pounding wildly. "I know you have the gun, but if you want to end this without getting killed, you might want to listen to me."

The gunman hesitates for a second. _He's either going to back down or blow my head off_. Strangely this doesn't make me feel any better. Luckily the gunman opts for the former instead of the latter. He slowly pulls the gun back from my head. I let loose a sigh of relief. However, he still takes the weapon and pistol-whips me across the face. Pain erupts from the blow. I stagger back, but somehow remain standing.

I try to shake the pain away. Of course he needed to do that; just to prove that he was still the one in charge and the one with power.

"I didn't get a name." I remind the gunman.

He raises an eyebrow and looks at me. "Let's just call me Phil."

"Fine, that works for me."

"Good."

"This place will be surrounded by cops in a few minutes Phil. They're going to want to know who you are and what your demands are."

"They can go to hell." He sneers.

"You'll have to negotiate with them in order to get what you want."

"Why do you think I didn't kill you already Detective? I'm going to negotiate with you."

"Fine. What do you want?"

"Right now, I've got everything I want." He says with smug self-satisfaction.

_Oh perfect_ I tell myself. It looks like this is going to take a while.

* * *

_So, what do you all think? Good? Not so good? Either way, I'd appreciate any reviews you all leave. They are much appreciated. _


	3. Outside Looking In

**Disclaimer**: _Castle_ and the recognizable characters are property of the folks at ABC and their creators who make a lot more money than I do. This is for pure entertainment purposes.

_Happy weekend everyone. Thanks again for all your interest in this story. I really appreciate it. So without further ado, here is Chapter 3. Enjoy._

Chapter 3: Outside Looking In

* * *

Beckett and Castle never got the chance to leave the precinct. The Detective had wanted to finish up on one last piece of paperwork before leaving. After that, Castle was going to try his luck and get Beckett to agree to their own date night. His mind is starting to come up with ideas to entice Beckett when her phone rings.

Castle can only hear her side of the conversation, but from the snippets he gathers, the news isn't good. "This is Detective Beckett…where…any news…how many…we'll be there in a few minutes, I'll call Esposito on the way…" She hangs up the phone, looking grave and concerned.

Before Castle can even ask, Beckett's already grabbing her things. "Ryan's in trouble, let's go."

* * *

Esposito knew that something was wrong. Maybe it's intuition, or just being a cop as long as he has, but the moment his cell phone rang, he felt that something bad was going on. Seeing that it was Beckett, he picked it up with an impending sense of dread.

"What's wrong Beckett?" He asks by way of introduction.

"Okay, that's creepy. How did you know?"

"I don't know what it is specifically, but I have a bad feeling."

"Well, you're right. There's a situation with Ryan."

Esposito grips his phone tightly as Beckett continues. "He was walking to the subway station and got caught up in a hostage situation at a Bank of New York branch. He's inside with the suspect."

"In other words, he's a hostage too." Javier's knuckles are white from tension.

Beckett lets out a sigh "Yes."

"Fuck." Esposito swears.

"Where are you?"

"I went home, but I know where that bank is. I'll be there as soon as I can." He hangs up the phone and lets loose a string of profanity.

By the time Esposito gets to the scene, it has become ordered chaos. The area around the bank has been cordoned off; SWAT has arrived, along with a dozen other uniforms, curious onlookers and worst of all, the press. Esposito has always hated it when they show up at an active crime scene. All they do is get in the way: speculate about things they don't understand, ask stupid questions he doesn't have time for, and sensationalize things without having facts to back it up. Luckily, Esposito is intimidating enough that when one reporter tries to ask him a question, a quick glare is enough to stop her in her tracks.

He finally makes his way over to Beckett and Castle, both looking grim and uncertain. Esposito looks inside in the bank and sees the back of his partner, who is talking with the gunman. The hostage-taker is very animated and Esposito's nervousness increase tenfold when he sees the man waving his gun around in the direction of his partner.

"How did he get himself caught up in this?" Esposito asks them.

"It looks like he was just in the wrong place at the wrong time. According to eyewitnesses, he was just walking to the subway when everything went down. Kevin was the first one on the scene. Somehow he ended up inside as another hostage. We think he's trying to negotiate with the guy."

Esposito curses in Spanish. "Ryan has no experience as a hostage negotiator."

"I know." Beckett says quietly.

"If gunman is willing to talk with him, that must mean that he has some level of trust in Kevin right?" Castle asks, trying to put a positive spin on this for his friends.

"Or he's just stalling for time until he kills Ryan." Esposito says grimly. Inside the Detective is fuming; what the hell had his partner gotten himself into? He damned well better not get himself hurt doing anything brave or stupid. Esposito's mind starts reeling, trying to figure out what had motivated his partner to do what he did. Why didn't he follow protocol? Why did he go inside? Why didn't he call for back up? Why didn't Ryan call _him_?

"Espo…" Beckett says, trying to draw his attention. She can see the inner turmoil in Esposito; as tight as he and Ryan are, the thought that his partner in serious danger and Esposito outside helpless is enough to drive the Hispanic Detective to distraction. For a cop, that sense of helplessness is one of the worst things they can ever feel.

"Esposito…" Beckett says more firmly. This time when she gets his attention, the inner turmoil is gone, or much more likely, is just masked better. Esposito now has a look of absolute determination.

"We're getting that idiot out of there in one piece, or I'm going to kill him."

"Easier said than done I'm afraid." A tall, thin man comes up to them. His badge is clearly visible and so is his sidearm. On his jacket are the NPYD seal and the letters "HR".

"Detectives Beckett and Esposito, Mr. Castle, I'm Sergeant Heath, with Hostage Rescue." He shakes each of their hands. "I understand that Detective Ryan is a member of your team?"

"That's correct." Beckett acknowledges.

"Well I hope he knows how to negotiate because our gunman has refused to talk with anyone else."

"How many hostages are we looking at?"

"Our best guess is about a dozen, including Detective Ryan."

"Has he given any clue to what he wants?" Castle wonders.

Heath shakes his head. "Unfortunately no. He wouldn't even tell us that he wasn't negotiating with us. Detective Ryan had to give us the 'no' signal himself."

"Are there any plans to take him out?" Beckett asks

"Not yet. We want to give Detective Ryan time to try and resolve this peacefully."

"And what if something bad happens?" Esposito's patience level, already low, is dropping rapidly. "Are we just going to wait around until he shoots my partner before we do anything?"

Heath looks at Esposito with pity. "I'm sorry Detective, I wish I could give you a better report than this, but I can't. Right now, we're depending on your partner to come up with something. Excuse me." Heath leaves them to go back to his command post.

"Worthless bastard." Esposito snarls, disgust written all over his face. "He's just going to sit around and let Ryan do all the work trying to free those people…" The Detective starts on another tirade.

"Espo, calm down." Beckett interrupts him. She knows how difficult this situation is for him, but she needs him to focus if they're going to come up with any ideas to help out Ryan.

The Hispanic Detective stops his rant and tries to keep his smoldering anger in check. He then remembers the other person who needs to know what's going on.

"Has anyone called Jenny?"

Beckett and Castle shake their heads. Esposito lets out a sigh as he pulls out his phone. This is one conversation he is definitely not looking forward too.

* * *

As she finishing unloading the dishwasher, Jenny Ryan can't help but smile. Both she and her husband have been working very hard over the last few weeks and rarely had time for each other, or to just relax with each other. Tonight though, it'll be different; she got off early from work and Kevin had told her earlier that it was a slow day. They had made a commitment to having a date night once a month and this would be their October one. And it couldn't come at a better time.

Jenny is getting out the cutting board and the tomatoes when her phone rings. The last thing she wants to do right now is talk on the phone. After all, the whole point of her and Kevin having a date night was to get away from work. But, she at least needs to know who called, just in case. She is puzzled when she sees that it is Javier calling. Jenny sadly concludes that they must have had a case turn up at the last minute. But then why hadn't Kevin called her himself?

She doesn't waste time with formalities; she knows Javier well enough to be able to skip that pro forma nonsense. "Javier, please tell me you aren't dragging Kevin off to another crime scene. We had a date scheduled for tonight and I…"

"Jenny."

The somber tone of his voice stops her midsentence. It quickly dawns on Jenny that something is very, very wrong.

"What's going on Javi? Has something happened to Kevin?" Worry permeates every word she says.

"Yes."

He explains the situation to her as calmly as he can. As she listens, Jenny is barely able to keep ahold of her phone. Her hands start shaking and a horrible feeling floods over her. She has a thousand questions but can't seem to get her vocal chords to work.

As Esposito finishes his explanation, Jenny can only find her voice long enough to say "I'm coming down there." The way she says it indicates that there will be no argument. Javier to his credit doesn't even put up a fight.

Jenny grabs her keys and purse, the tomato and dishes long forgotten.

By the time Jenny makes it to the bank, her nerves are almost completely shot. A thousand terrible scenarios had gone through her mind, nearly all of them ending with her husband not making it out of there alive.

When she peers inside the glass front doors of the bank, her heart nearly stops as she spots Kevin. His back is to her and he's engaged in a conversation with the gunman.

"God." She whispers.

A big, comforting hand touches her shoulder. She looks over and sees Castle has come to stand beside her. The two Detectives are engaged in a conversation with another cop.

"You doing okay Jenny?" Castle gently asks her.

"No." She answers honestly. Jenny doesn't know Castle very well; she's met him a couple of times and he signed a copy of _Nikki Heat_ for her. But she knows that Kevin considers him a friend, and right now, he's a comforting presence for her. The full gravity of the situation hits her and tears start to form in her eyes.

Castle instinctively wraps her in a hug as Jenny begins to silently cry, all her fears and worries bubbling to the surface. The writer doesn't say anything, merely holding her in silent comfort.

As Javier watches his partner's wife cry into Castle's shoulder, he grinds his jaw. Turning back to the situation inside the bank, he repeats the vow that he made earlier in front of Beckett and Castle:

Kevin is getting out of this okay, or Javier will kill him.

* * *

_So, what do you all think? Good? Not so good? Either way, I'd appreciate any reviews, comments, suggestions or even delicious pie recipes you all leave (that last one is half-serious). They are much appreciated. _


	4. The First Deal

**Disclaimer**: _Castle_ and the recognizable characters are property of the folks at ABC and their creators who make a lot more money than I do. This is for pure entertainment purposes.

_Hello again everyone. I hope you all are still enjoying this. Thanks for all your interest. I really appreciate it. So without further ado, here is Chapter 4. Enjoy._

* * *

Chapter 4: The First Deal

"So, what's the deal?" He asks me.

I look across at Phil. For the last twenty minutes or so he hasn't said a word, giving me time to examine him closer. The man appears to be in his 40's, and the biggest thing that stands out is how conventional he looks. He's of average height; taller than me, but shorter than Castle. His clothes are typical; a long sleeve Knicks sweater and jeans. He isn't wild-eyed, or wearing a tin-foil hat. By all accounts, he _seems_ normal.

Aside from taking a bank full of hostages that is.

"The deal?" I can't keep my puzzlement out of my voice.

"Yes whatever deal you want to try and come up with."

"I want you to release one of the other hostages as a first step. Then we can talk about a deal." Getting him to let one of the hostages go is absolutely vital. It lets the rest of the NYPD outside know that he's willing to compromise and negotiate, and it buys me time to figure this out. It also will boost the morale of the others, letting them know that there is a peaceful way out of this.

"Not a chance." Phil shakes his head, all the while keeping his gun steadily aimed at me.

"The NYPD will want a gesture of good faith."

"I didn't kill you when you mouthed off to me. Isn't that good enough for now?"

"Not if they don't know about it."

"I'm not negotiating with them, I'm negotiating with you."

Talking with Phil is definitely going to give me a headache. "Fine, I'll take that as a gesture of good faith." I concede.

"Good. Now I want one from you."

"What?"

"I want you to give me a good faith gesture."

"What do you want?" As if walking in here unarmed and putting myself at his mercy isn't good enough…

"I want your cell phone."

I hesitate. It's naïve, but I was hoping that Phil would let me keep my cell. No such luck.

"Why?" Since I'm pretty sure Phil isn't crazy, I've got a feeling that he isn't going to say things without a reason. I need to get as much information out of him as I possibly can.

"I want it." He repeats. "And type in the password first. Don't try and anything."

The headache I knew was coming arrives, but I need to show Phil a gesture of good faith. Although I don't want to comply, I give him my cell phone.

Phil snatches it out of my hand. I'm not sure what to expect, but he does still surprise me by just casually browsing through it. I can see that he's looking through my photos.

"Who's she?" He asks, showing me a picture of Jenny.

"That's my wife."

"She have a name?"

"Why do you want to know?"

"Because I do."

"No." The last thing I want to do is involve Jenny in any way, shape or form.

"What do you want then?"

"For my wife's name?" I ask incredulously. I have no idea what he's angling at.

He nods.

"Nothing. She's not part of any deals."

"I'll release a hostage."

"I said…" his statement stops me. Phil gets a satisfied smirk, knowing he's caught me and that I'm torn. The need to get the hostages out of this bank is the paramount issue. On the other hand, the hostages are Phil's biggest bargaining chip. Yet, he is willing to give so much just to find out about Jenny? Why? It makes me shudder to think that a man who took an entire bank full of hostages has any interest in finding out more information about my wife. I'm definitely not comfortable giving him information about her. But, this is not about me or what makes me comfortable. My job is to help get these people out of here alive. That takes precedent over my own feelings. I hate the decision, but I know what the answer is going to be.

"Fine. Release a hostage first and I'll answer two questions about my wife." If I can't stop him from asking about Jenny, then at the very least, I can limit how much he knows about Jenny. "Deal?"

"Deal." He scans the room, examining each of the hostages, looking for the lucky person. There are a little more than a dozen people in here. During Phil's silent twenty minutes, I got the chance to look at them too. They're ordinary people; the youngest no older than a teenager, the oldest is probably collecting Social Security. They're typical New Yorkers; the type of people you'd see on the subway, at the sandwich shop or walking their dog in Central Park. I hope to God that Phil is the one choosing instead of me; I don't want to have to be the one to decide who gets to stay and who goes.

"You." He points to a terrified older woman. "You're leaving." He points to me "come here. Now." I do what I'm told. The tension in the bank ratchets up considerably. This has to go perfectly; if Phil is going to release any other hostages, he needs to know that we in the NYPD are going to honor our agreements.

I head over to him. "Turn around, face the doors, and no funny business."

Phil immediately wraps his arm around my neck and puts his gun to my temple. Oh shit.

The old woman looks to me, with fear in her eyes, wanting some kind of assurance or guidance. I mouth the word "go" to her. Still shaking, she nods. Everyone watches as the old woman slowly makes her way towards the door, hands raised. She opens it and briefly, the sounds of police sirens, helicopters, and the general chaos of a hostage situation fill my ears. One of the SWAT members grabs her arm and guides her away from the building.

Phil whispers in my ear "nothing personal; you're just an insurance policy." Great, now _I'm_ his preferred human shield.

Once it's clear that both the old woman and SWAT are gone, Phil releases and shoves me away, still training the gun on me.

"There, that wasn't so hard." He comments to the room. No one dares to respond. "Now, it's your turn to fulfill your side of the deal. And if I think you are lying, someone here will suffer. "

"Fine." I spit out, wanting this to be over as quickly as possible.

"What's your wife's name?"

"Her name is Jenny."

"And how long have you been married?"

"Two years."

He seems satisfied with both answers. "Ah, young love." Although he tries to sound wistful, there is an undercurrent in his voice of…malice? Bitterness? Either way, it makes my skin crawl.

"Are you married?" I ask hesitantly, trying to establish a connection or at least get more information out of him.

Instead of answering, he rushes over and lands a vicious punch to my midsection, knocking all the air out of me. Unprepared for the blow, I collapse to my knees, trying desperately to get my breathing under control and get the pain to subside.

"What…was that… for?" I cough.

"For asking a stupid question." Phil sneers.

"You asked me…" I point out as I unsteadily get back to my feet.

"BECAUSE I CAN DAMN IT!" He yells, his anger rising rapidly. I hear the whimpering coming from the other hostages. For some reason, this is obviously a sore point with Phil. While that's very useful information to have for later, if I keep pushing that button now, one of the other hostages might get hurt.

"The next time you ask about that, I'll shoot someone." He warns me in no uncertain terms.

"Alright, no more questions about that." I concede. Trying to calm him down, I decide to steer the conversation in a different direction. "What's your game here Phil?"

"My game Kevin?" That's the first time he's called me by my first name. In the span of a minute, he's gone from punching me to calling me by name. Maybe it's progress?

I revert by default into detective mode. _Just imagine it's like the murder board back at the precinct._ I tell myself. _You have the perp, now you need to figure out motive_. "Most people who take a bank hostage ask for money. Not only have you not asked for money, you haven't asked for transportation or anything else. What's going on?"

"Maybe I haven't decided what I want yet. Maybe I don't want anything. Maybe I just wanted someone to listen."

So that tells me absolutely nothing, although I'm starting to change my mind about him not being crazy. My headache keeps growing.

* * *

_So, what do you all think? Good? Not so good? Either way, I'd appreciate any reviews, comments, suggestions or anything else you think I should know (the winning lottery numbers would be greatly appreciated). _


	5. Forced to Watch, Forced to Wait

**Disclaimer**: _Castle_ and the recognizable characters are property of the folks at ABC and their creators who make a lot more money than I do. This is for pure entertainment purposes.

_You all have been great, dear readers. I really appreciate the warm response this story has gotten. So without further ado, here is Chapter 5. Enjoy._

Chapter 5: Forced to Watch, Forced to Wait

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As he watches the situation unfold in the bank, all the worry on Esposito's face that was present at the beginning is gone. After over an hour of being able to do nothing but watch and wait, Esposito's emotions are radically different. Seeing Heath and the rest of HR do what he thinks is a criminally slow job, his feelings now range from furious to apoplectic. Usually when one of their own is caught up in something like this, everyone at the NYPD works just a little harder to resolve it as quickly as possible. Heath though, seems content to let Ryan do his job for him. During what appeared to be downtime, when the gunman wasn't pointing his weapon directly at Ryan, Esposito had called Captain Gates, to see if at least she could take control of the situation. To his surprise, Gates was sympathetic, but not to his surprise, she didn't step in. Yes it is a cop from the 12th in there, but he isn't the only hostage. Therefore, Hostage Rescue would be in the lead. They would have to follow the book on this one for a while.

Javier presses the "end call" button harder than he had intended and stalks back to the HR command post where Beckett and Castle are waiting. Jenny is nowhere to be found. After staring inside the bank at her husband for an hour, she simply couldn't bear to be here anymore. Esposito suggested she head back home, but that wasn't happening. Instead, he had one of the uniforms take her to the precinct, which is only a few blocks away. He dialed Lanie while they were on their way, asking her to look after Jenny. Of course his _chica_ said yes, giving Esposito at least a small sense of relief. If Jenny couldn't handle being here, then at least she was with a friend. He promised her he'd call or text her with any news.

The conversation between Kevin and the gunman starts up again. They seem to be going back and forth about something, but Javier can't tell what it's about. His brilliant partner has positioned himself at a point where they couldn't see what it is that he is saying.

"You two have any idea what they're talking about?" He mutters to his other partners.

"Unfortunately no." Beckett comments.

"Wish I did." Castle responds.

"What about Sergeant Dumb-Ass over there?" He points at Heath.

"He hasn't said anything." Beckett answers, not commenting on Esposito's nickname for Heath.

Esposito grinds his jaw. What pisses him off more than anything; more than Heath, more than Gates, more than any of it, is this feeling of helplessness. His partner is no more than on the other side of the street and through a set of doors away, yet Javier can't do a damn thing to help him. As a soldier and a cop, Esposito has always been an action-oriented person. He feels like he needs to be doing _something_. Just standing around, waiting for others to act is driving him crazy.

Now, everything seems to be changing. Ryan hands the gunman something, what looks like his cell phone. At least now they can see Ryan's face. Esposito has a fleeting hope that the gunman is going to make a call and demand some kind of ransom. But no such luck. Instead, he shows the screen to Ryan. During their conversation Javier watches as Kevin's back stiffens and his mouth tightens. Whatever the gunman has said or done, it's definitely not made his partner happy. The gunman has a haughty smile plastered on his face as he sees Ryan give in to whatever he wants.

Things start to move very quickly. The gunman points to what Esposito can only guess is another hostage. An older woman gets up, her shaking visible even at this distance. The gunman points at the door and gestures with his gun towards Ryan.

When the old woman started moving towards the door, everyone outside held their breath. The tension for Esposito, Beckett and Castle goes through the roof when they see the hostage-taker grab Ryan and around the neck and point the weapon at his temple. Esposito and Beckett reach for their guns. If things are about to go down then they want to be ready.

Esposito peers at Ryan's face, trying to figure out what his partner is thinking. The Hispanic Detective is surprised that after a moment of surprise, Ryan has calmed down, at least a bit. Esposito concludes that this must be part of some kind of deal between Ryan and the gunman to let the hostage go. That helps Esposito calm down, but only just. After all, his partner is still the one who is being used as this lunatic's human shield.

The old woman, hands still raised, slowly starts making her way to the door. One of the SWAT members comes up and grabs her arm, leading her away from the bank. Everyone lets out a sigh of relief. At least one person has been freed.

Once the old woman manages to get outside without any incident, the hostage-taker releases Ryan, no worse for wear, and again moves out of the view of Esposito, Beckett and Castle. The three of them waste no time in finding the old woman, who has just finished being checked out by one of the emergency personnel. Other than being terrified, she seems alright.

"Ma'am, I'm Detective Kate Beckett, this is Detective Javier Esposito and Richard Castle, can you tell us anything about what just happened?"

"That young man, the Detective, he negotiated to get Phil to let someone go. Phil chose me. I don't know why. What did I do?" The woman appears to be going through a version of survivor's guilt. It's something they've all seen in other cases. The person feels bad that they are safe when others aren't or didn't make it.

The old woman reminds Esposito of his _abuela_ so he takes her hand and tries to gently pat it to calm her down. "It's alright ma'am. You said this man called himself Phil?"

She nods.

"Did he give a last name?"

"No he didn't. I don't think Phil is his real name."

"Why do you think that?" Beckett asks her.

"The Detective, he said he wanted that man to give him a name. The man said 'let's just call me Phil'. I think he pulled that name out of thin air."

"Did this 'Phil' say what he wanted?"

"No, he hasn't demanded anything…except for the Detective's phone and information."

That has Castle's curiosity piqued. "What did he want to know?"

"He wanted to know about the Detective's wife. What her name was and how long they've been married. Once the Detective promised to tell him, Phil let me go."

"Has Phil hurt anyone?" Esposito asks, girding himself for the worse.

"Yes, he hit the Detective once at the beginning. Phil wanted the Detective to call him Sir, but the Detective wouldn't do it." Esposito involuntarily flinches when he hears that. This son of a bitch is going to pay for laying a finger on his partner. Esposito will make sure of it.

"Can I please call my husband? He must be worried sick."

Beckett realizes they have as much information from her as they're going to get. "Yes ma'am, thank you so much for your help."

They prepare to leave when the old woman tightens her hold on Esposito's hand. "Please help out the rest of those poor people, especially that brave young man." The imploring look in her eyes strikes a chord with Esposito.

"We'll do everything we can. I promise." He tries to assure her, and himself.

She nods and lets go of his hand. Esposito heads back to where Beckett and Castle have stationed themselves. After a brief conversation with the old woman, Heath comes over to join them.

"I'm impressed; it sounds like Detective Ryan is handling himself very well in there." Heath says, trying to be complimentary.

_No thanks to you_ Esposito says to himself.

Beckett and Castle both appear to be mulling over their conversation with the old woman. "What I want to know" the writer wonders aloud "is why Phil asked about Ryan and his wife? If Kevin just happened to be walking by when Phil took the bank hostage, then this doesn't have anything to do with Kevin or Jenny and yet..."

"Yet Phil is willing to release a hostage just for that information." Javier finishes the thought.

"At least that's what we think. They could have agreed to more than that. Or this could just be part one." Beckett points out.

"Well, I'll let you all figure that mystery out." Heath comments "As for us, right now we're just going to hold steady. It looks like Detective Ryan has found a way to negotiate and deal with this man, and we aren't going to do anything to jeopardize that."

"You're really good at just sitting around doing nothing." Javier mumbles in a barely audible voice.

"What was that?" Heath asks with a distinct edge in his tone.

"Nothing." Esposito says, with no trace of sincerity.

Heath waves a dismissive hand. "Whatever Detective. If you'll excuse me, I'm going to debrief my team." Heath walks away and Esposito has to fight the urge to go exchange more words or fists with him.

"I hate to admit it Espo, but he's right." Javier turns a murderous stare back onto Beckett. "Ryan just got that woman out of there safely. He's doing what he's supposed to be doing. If we do anything to agitate Phil, then we could be putting everyone else there in danger, _especially_ Kevin."

"So we just get to sit around here and do nothing." Esposito mutters darkly.

"I didn't say that. We'll have the techs run a facial recognition scan and see if we can find out more about who Phil really is. That might get us some information about what's motivating him." Beckett digs out her phone and makes the call.

_Finally_. It isn't much, but at least they'll be doing something to help Kevin. Esposito is grateful for that small victory.

It turns out to be a very short lived victory. When Beckett hangs up the phone, she doesn't spare them the bad news. "Turns out that tonight is the night that the techs are upgrading the NYPD's facial recognition software. It's going to be a couple of hours before it is up and running again."

Esposito mutters something in Spanish that neither of them dares to translate. It looks like they have no choice but to watch, wait and pray for a miracle.

The fact that it is the only option they have right now doesn't make the decision any easier to accept.

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_So, what do you all think? Good? Not so good? Either way, I'd appreciate any reviews, comments, suggestions or anything else you can give (an extra week of paid vacation would be wonderful). _


	6. A Time for Learning

**Disclaimer**: _Castle_ and the recognizable characters are property of the folks at ABC and their creators who make a lot more money than I do. This is for pure entertainment purposes.

_Hello again everyone. I would say happy Monday, but that is a paradox in terms. You all are still the best with your reviews, follows, favorites and just plain reading this. Here's Chapter 6. Enjoy._

* * *

Chapter 6: A Time for Learning

I'm beginning to detect a pattern in Phil's behavior. When I first came into the bank after our initial conversation, he didn't say anything. Now after our last deal, he's retreated into his brooding silence again. This time, he shows no signs of snapping out of it anytime soon.

Phil's silence gives me time to take everything in. So far, this situation has gone about as well as it could, all things being equal. Phil has shown that he is willing to negotiate and he isn't completely unreasonable. No one has been hurt yet, thank God. And after the release of the old woman, the other hostages seem to be in better spirits. I knew that seeing one of them get out safely would be good for everyone's morale. The best thing is that they seem to trust me enough now to let me do the talking. I definitely don't need a scared hostage to start trying to negotiate to get themselves out.

One of the hostages, a young woman, catches my attention. She can't be more than twenty or so, dressed in professional attire. She could be a bank employee or an intern at one of the big firms downtown. She is huddled up against one of the pillars. Like everyone else, she's very scared, but there's more than that. Something is bothering her beyond being caught up in this situation. Phil seems to be in his own little world right now, so I head over to young woman and sit down beside her.

"What's your name?"

"Tabitha…" She says in a quiet voice.

"What's wrong Tabitha?"

"I…I need my medication…but I didn't bring any with me… " She's on the verge of tears, as if she's ashamed to admit this. "I'm…scared to…ask him…"

"Hey, hey it's okay." I tell her quietly. She bites her lower lip and nods, trying to hold back tears. When that fails, I pull her in to a hug to give her comfort as she gets her emotions out.

After a few minutes Tabitha seems to have cried herself out. She pulls away from me and leans back against the pillar. I don't know what her condition is; it isn't obvious by looking at her. What is obvious though is that she needs help.

"Stay here, I'm going to talk with him." I tell her as I stand up. Phil hasn't stopped his pacing and muttering. In the quiet of the bank, I hear him condemning someone and cursing them. I need to try and figure out who he is so angry at, but at a later time. Right now, Tabitha is the top priority.

"Phil." I call out to him.

The gunman stops his rambling and looks at me.

"So now what Kevin?"

"I want a favor from you."

His eyebrows arch. "A favor? What kind of favor?"

I gesture to Tabitha "She needs her medication. I want you to either release her or have someone bring her the medicine."

"Now why would I do that?" He asks.

"Because it's the right thing to do."

He lets out a hollow laugh. "You're asking someone who took a bank full of people hostage to do the right thing? Maybe you aren't as smart as I thought you were Kevin."

"You could've killed me earlier and you didn't. And you let that older woman leave."

"So?"

"So, you've already proven that you aren't a cold-hearted bastard."

He takes the gun and presses it up against my forehead. "Now do you think I'm so nice?"

"If you're going to kill me, just get it over with. Otherwise, get that damned thing out of my face." Holy. Shit_._ The words came out of my mouth faster than I can think. God that's one of the stupidest things I've ever said in my life. The last, I mean the absolute last thing you do in this sort of situation is to antagonize the gunman.

Instead of being furious, or calling my bluff, Phil has an entirely different reaction. He bursts out in laughter. "I 'm not going to kill you Kevin, you're far too entertaining! Thanks for the laugh though. Just for that, I'm going to do you your favor. Oh Tabitha!" He calls out. The terrified young woman hesitantly stands up. I start praying to whoever is listening that nothing bad happens…

"Guess what, you're leaving. Get out now."

This time, Phil backs away from the doors, gesturing for me to follow him. Instead of being his human shield, he's content with just pointing the gun at my head. I'm going to count this as more progress.

I ignore Phil and the gun and concentrate on Tabitha. Since she saw the last hostage leave without incident, she has more confidence in getting out. Tabitha, hands raised, moves towards the door and makes her way safely out. Thank God. That's two hostages freed.

This time it isn't Phil who goes into a brooding silence after a hostage is released. It's me. While everyone else might be grateful that Tabitha got out, I keep going over my glib challenge to Phil in my head. God, how could I be so stupid? This isn't like challenging Javi to another round of _Madden_ or _Call of Duty_. I tried to goad Phil into _shooting _me. What the hell was I thinking? I haven't talked liked that to someone since, well since my days in Narcotics when I was undercover. And that wasn't _me_ talking, it was Fenton. Both Beckett and Javi have told me that on occasion my mouth outruns my brain, and this time it really caught up with me and nearly got me, and more likely several other people killed.

For some reason, I hear Javier in his best scolding voice. _Stop it._ _There are still a lot of people in here who need your help. Pull your head out of your ass. Yeah it was a mistake, so don't do it again. Don't do anything else that stupid and get through this._

I catch a glance outside, trying to spot my partner and Beckett and Castle. I can't find them. The sun has fallen behind the skyscrapers of the City and is casting weird shadows all over the street. It'll be dark soon. At some point, Hostage Rescue is going to lose patience and take Phil out by force. That is definitely not the best outcome for anyone involved. I have no love for Phil; hell, he's threatened to kill me more than once since all of this started, but if he's dead, than the most important question of all won't be answered. Why? Why does a seemingly rational person hold a bank full of people hostage, and then _not_ make any demands? And far more personally, why did he ask me about Jenny? None of these questions can be easily answered if he's lying dead on the floor. If for no other reason than that, Phil needs to be alive when all of this ends.

Taking a deep breath, I walk towards him. "I want to make another deal."

"A deal or a favor? Because that was probably the last favor I'm going to give you Kevin."

"I want a deal."

"I'll bet you do."

"I want you to release another hostage."

He rubs his chin for a moment and muses out loud. "That could probably get done, but hostages are expensive."

"What do you want? More information? Transportation out of here? I'm willing to negotiate Phil."

"Yes you are Kevin and I like that about you. Negotiating and deal making are a lost art. It was a better world when you could simply shake hands with another person and strike a deal. People were a lot more honorable back then." He sounds almost wistful.

I want to tell him to put down the gun and I'll give him one hell of a handshake, but wisely I keep that thought to myself. _Don't do anything else stupid_ I remind myself. Instead, I keep up with my best impersonation of a diplomat.

"Well, you know what I want, so tell me, what can I give you in return?"

"I want more information."

"About who or what?"

"About you Kevin, or more specifically, about _these _people." He shows me a photo on my phone. It's of the four of us: me, Beckett, Castle and Javier. "I thought I saw them outside earlier, and they were definitely not SWAT. Tell me more about them."

So, it seems Phil is less interested in learning about Jenny in particular than learning about _me_. Honestly, that's a big relief. "I want a hostage released first." I tell him firmly.

"Alright, let's split the difference; give me their full names, I release a hostage, then you answer some more questions. Deal?"

"Deal." I say without hesitation. I definitely don't trust Phil; he is after all holding me and a dozen or so other people at gunpoint, but he did release a hostage after our last deal and he accepted my request for a favor. At the very least, he's willing to keep his word about that.

I point to each of them in the photo "that's Kate Beckett, Javier Esposito and Richard Castle."

"Castle? As in the author Castle?" Phil asks with a puzzled expression.

"Yes."

"Interesting." He comments to no one in particular. As he thinks about that, I see him scanning the other hostages. Most of them are leaning up against the various pillars or hanging on to each other. None of them looks at ease.

"You." He points to a middle-aged man in a business suit. "Do you work for this wretched bank?"

The hostage shakes his head quickly.

"Good, then get out. Just like the first time everyone." He drags me over as his human shield once again. Although this is the second time this has happened, it doesn't make me feel any more at ease. If something goes wrong, I'm the first one to pay the penalty.

The businessman follows the same routine that the old woman and Tabitha both did earlier; slowly walking to the door, hands raised. The release goes as planned. For a brief moment, I'm tempted to try and fight Phil for the gun. I could slam onto his foot and try tackling him to the ground. Unfortunately, Phil is built like a linebacker and moreover, he shoves me away after the hostage is released before I can take any action. Damn it.

"Now Kevin, some more questions. First, who are these people in relations to you?"

"They're my coworkers." I tell him simply, not wanting to go anymore beyond that. Phil doesn't need to know that we are more like family.

"Which one of these three is your partner?"

I still have no idea why Phil wants all of this personal information, but if he has a modicum of sanity, then it's best to let him know. We were taught at the Academy that during a hostage situation, you need to take any opportunity to develop a personal bond with the hostage taker. People are less likely to shoot someone that they think they have a connection with. Even if it's just a moment of hesitation, that extra moment can be the difference between life and death.

"Javier is my partner."

"Do you trust him?"

"I'd take a bullet for him." I respond immediately.

"What about him?"

"He'd do the same for me." I say with absolute conviction, because I know it's true.

"And the author Castle? How does he fit in?"

"He's a consultant. He helps us on our cases."

"Curious, very curious. So that must mean that this Kate Beckett is…"

"My boss."

"Ah, the boss. Terrible creatures they are." He muses.

My ears perk up. That's not how a normal person describes their boss, even if they hate them. Phil just revealed a little more about himself. Wait a minute, when he let go of the last hostage, he asked the man if he worked at "this wretched bank". Both phrases: bosses being "terrible creatures" and "wretched bank" are ones that Phil picked out deliberately. He doesn't know it, but Phil just gave me something to work with.

"You don't like your boss Phil?"

He gives that same hollow laugh. "Like? _Like!_ No, no Kevin, I have a much stronger feeling about my old boss than that. If he was here right now…" He pauses for effect. "I'd blow the bastard's head off in a second."

Okay, now that definitely sounds like motive to me. He hates the bank, and he hates his boss. It isn't hard to put two-and-two together.

"You used to work for the Bank of New York, didn't you Phil?"

He doesn't bother looking at me. "Yes I did."

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_Good? Bad? Otherwise? Whatever your opinion, don't hesitate to share it. More to come shorty. _


	7. Ground to a Halt

**Disclaimer**: _Castle_ and the recognizable characters are property of the folks at ABC and their creators who make a lot more money than I do. This is for pure entertainment purposes.

_Howdy everyone. It's almost the weekend, and what a glorious thing that is. Thanks again to all you readers, followers, and reviewers. Here's Chapter 7. Enjoy._

* * *

Chapter 7: Ground to a Halt

When two more hostages come out, in a little less than an hour apart, everyone outside of the bank briefs another sigh of relief. Despite the fact that they still have an incredibly dangerous situation going on, at least two more people are safe.

"Whatever Ryan is doing, it seems to be working." Castle comments aloud.

"For now." Beckett says pessimistically.

"He's gotten three people out. That's impressive Beckett." Castle responds.

"True, but it raises more questions. What does Phil want? And more importantly, what's his endgame?"

For once, Castle doesn't have an answer and given the stakes in this situation, he's not ready to start spinning his usual theories. The writer is sure that if he starts spouting off any sort of wild scenario, Esposito will murder him. Much like after the first hostage was released, the three of them head over to the two newly released hostages and get their accounts of what has happened inside the bank.

This time as they recount their stories, Esposito doesn't say a word. When he hears about Ryan's challenge to Phil though, he nearly explodes. God, what a dumb move. _Every _cop knows that the last thing you do is to provoke the gunman in this kind of situation. Not for the first time today, Javier is asking himself what the hell his partner is thinking. For such a smart guy, Kevin can sure be an idiot sometimes. But Esposito's anger doesn't last as long as he thought it would. The last of the hostages, the businessman, mentioned how silent Ryan had gotten after that incident. Esposito has known Ryan long enough and well enough to know what his partner must be doing. He's seen Ryan do it before when he thinks he's made a mistake; he's engaging in his own self-flagellation. If Ryan is beating himself up over this, then Esposito will give him a break, at least for now.

Still, despite, or maybe because of his partner's recklessness, things_ have_ improved and Javier decides to send Jenny a text message. Kevin isn't out of this by any stretch, but they've made progress. For the first time since this whole wretched thing started, Esposito starts to let himself believe that things might turn out alright.

To Esposito's surprise, Jenny decides to come back to the scene. This time, she brought Lanie with her. Both women wait for Javier to fill them in on the new developments. This he does, except leaving out Ryan's challenge to Phil. Jenny doesn't need to know that, or at least not hear it from him. If Kevin wants her to know about it, he'll have to tell her himself. Jenny's reaction to all of this is hard to gauge. She's tried to look happy when Esposito tells them about the release of the hostages, but the smile is weak and never makes it to her eyes.

Lanie goes to talk to Castle and Beckett, leaving Javier with Jenny.

"I'm sorry." Jenny suddenly announces.

"What for?" Javier asks, thoroughly puzzled at her apology.

"For leaving, for being angry that those other people are out of that bank, for all of it."

"Jenny, you have nothing to apologize for." He reassures her.

"I just want Kevin to be okay." She says quietly, almost to herself.

"Jenny, I promise we'll get him out alright." She bites her lip and nods, not really believing him.

Esposito has made that promise more than once today: to himself, to one of the released hostages, and now to Jenny. If anything, it makes him more determined to find a way out of this for his partner. Kevin better not make him a liar.

His conversation with Jenny still ringing in his ears, Esposito has to suppress a groan when he sees Heath heading towards them. Esposito's opinion of the man hasn't changed; all of the progress that's been made on this is because of Kevin, not HR. In Esposito's opinion, if Heath and the rest of Hostage Rescue weren't there, it would make little difference. The Detective is going to have a serious talk with Captain Gates once all of this is over with about their colleagues in Hostage Rescue.

"Overall, I'm encouraged by what's going on." Heath announces to the group.

"Doesn't HR have a time limit before you go in and end the situation?" Castle asks, his own patience starting to erode at the long standoff.

"Ordinarily yes, but given the circumstances off this particular case, we're going to keep sitting back for a while. We have snipers in place but beyond that…"

"Beyond that you're going to do nothing but sit on your ass." Esposito says, not bothering anymore to hide his irritation and contempt for the other man.

Heath walks right over to Esposito and stands in his personal space. He is taller than the Hispanic Detective and tries to use his full height to intimidate the other man. Fat chance of that. Esposito just stares right back him; if this comes to blows, Esposito is confident he could kick Heath's ass.

"You've done nothing but bitch and moan about how I do my job since you got on the scene. You got a problem with how we do things? Tough shit, I'm in charge here." Heath sneers at him.

"If my partner suffers so much as a stubbed toe because you do your job like shit, I'm coming after you Heath. Count on it." Esposito says in that low, dangerous tone that terrifies almost everyone, including most of the other cops at the precinct. It works on Heath too; the HR Sergeant squirms at Esposito's tone and hardened stare.

Beckett quickly steps in and pushes the two men away from each other. "That's enough; we're all on the same side here."

"I'm beginning to wonder." Esposito comments.

"That's enough Detective Esposito." Beckett orders in her full boss voice. Solely out of respect for her, Esposito bites back another response.

Heath takes one last glare at Esposito before he turns around and heads back to his colleagues in HR.

Before Esposito can hurl any more insults at the man, Beckett cuts him off "Don't Espo; it isn't going to help us or Kevin at all."

"He's more than worthless, he's a coward." Esposito spits out, his voice full of disgust.

"Espo…"

He ignores her and continues talking "All he's doing is sitting outside, not able to do one damn thing to help Ryan. He's just watching and waiting for all the shit to go down and can't do anything about it. He's completely useless to Ryan …"

Castle opens his mouth to say something but Beckett stops him. It's clear that Esposito has stopped talking about Heath.

"And now Kevin's getting reckless or tired or stupid or whatever and he's going to get himself hurt or killed because he's got no back up or any other way out of this. Even if he gets all the hostages out, what then? That bastard isn't going to let him go; he'll still need leverage and there's no better leverage than a cop. And once he gets away, he'll have no need for Ryan anymore."

Esposito continues for another minute or two before he sits on the pavement. Exhaustion and worry are written all over his face.

* * *

After two hostages were released in less than an hour, everyone outside of the Bank of New York is hopeful that things are moving towards a resolution. In fact, the exact opposite happens. Another two hours go by with nothing happening. Inside the bank, they can see Ryan and Phil talking and arguing, but no progress is made.

Afternoon and dusk both came and went. Now, the City is engulfed in darkness. It's been four hours since Phil took the bank hostage and everything seems to have ground to a halt.

Looking inside the bank, Esposito's low patience level has come to an end. Lanie is by his side, trying to keep him calm. Unfortunately, he's not receptive to it right now. Esposito has had it. He digs into his coat pocket and calls Captain Gates again.

"Detective Esposito before you ask, the answer is still no."

"Captain, he's been in there for four hours. This 'Phil' hasn't asked for a ransom and hasn't released a hostage in two hours. And Hostage Rescue has been absolutely useless."

"Detective Esposito, I understand your frustration. I'm not any happier about it than you are. I talked with the Police Commissioner and the answer is still no. Hostage Rescue is still in charge."

"But Sir, they are absolutely useless!" Esposito shouts in exasperation.

"And once this has been resolved we'll deal with them. "

"Sir…"

"Detective, your partner is in there; you aren't objective about the situation. And that is fine. But we can't be in charge with that kind of conflict of interest. I'm sorry. Stay there and monitor the situation. Have Detective Beckett put more pressure on Sergeant Heath to resolve this quickly. That's the best thing you can do for Detective Ryan."

"Yes sir."

"Good. Get Detective Ryan out of there safely. That's an order." She hangs up the phone.

He puts his coat back in his pocket weary and defeated. God this is awful. That feeling of uselessness that's settled on him since this whole thing started is even more acute now. He feels a slender, delicate hand on his shoulder. It's Lanie.

"Gates still say no." She doesn't so much ask as state.

He nods. To Lanie, Javier looks like the weight of the world is on his shoulders. The others had listened in on Esposito's conversation with the Captain. Frustration and impatience are mounting amongst the whole group. Beckett steels herself for a confrontation with Heath. She's more patient than Javier, but she has reached her limit too.

Lanie is about to say something encouraging, something to calm everyone's fears and anxieties when a distinct noise shatters through the night. The moment it reaches Esposito's ears, his heart stops. He can't look at Jenny, Beckett, Lanie or Castle out of the overwhelming fear that they will confirm what he knows he just heard. Ever since he had received the call from Beckett all those hours ago, it has been the one thing that he has most dreaded hearing…

It was the sound of a gunshot.

* * *

_Yes a cliff-hanger. No worries all will be answered in time. More to come shortly. _


	8. Things Fall Apart

**Disclaimer**: _Castle_ and the recognizable characters are property of the folks at ABC and their creators who make a lot more money than I do. This is for pure entertainment purposes.

_First off, I have to appreciate your restraint, dear readers. No one killed me over the cliff hanger I left at the end of the last chapter. Now, as a reward for your patience, here is Chapter 8. Enjoy._

* * *

Chapter 8: Things Fall Apart

"_Time to go big or go home Detective Ryan_._"_

And that's where we are now. I've spent the last two hours in a big push to try and end this whole mess. Unluckily for me, Phil hasn't bent, hasn't given me any idea of what he wants or what I can give him. I've tried damn near everything; I've offered him money, I've offered him a way out of here and I've offered him more information about me or the team. He's ignored every one of my ideas, but he's suddenly discovered the joy of talking with no purpose. For two hours, I've had to listen to his commentary on the City, sports, politics, pretty much everything that isn't useful to me.

The City is now coated in darkness. Four long hours I've been stuck in this bank. What is taking Hostage Rescue so long? I look outside again and spot Sergeant Heath at HR's command center. Oh perfect. I remember dealing with Heath back when I was in Narcotics. If there was ever the case of a bureaucrat wearing a badge, it's Heath. His main concern in any situation is not having something go wrong instead of actually doing something. If he's in charge, then HR will sit out there until Christmas.

After two hours of listening to Phil rant, I've had enough. Out of the team, I'm probably the one who takes the longest to lose my cool. Javier certainly isn't and Beckett has shown what can happen when you piss her off. I try as much as I can to not get angry when things aren't going well. But even I have my limits. And right now, I'm at my limit with Phil. I haven't interrupted him or tried to steer the conversation too much, just to avoid setting him off. But now, it's time to be more proactive.

"Phil." I interrupt him mid-rant. So far, he doesn't seem too agitated. "Let's talk about the bank."

He snorts in disgust. "Whole damned place ought to be destroyed."

"Why?"

A mirthless, humorless laugh ripples through the entire bank. "Why? WHY? Let me tell you why…"

He then starts on another tirade; only this one is much different from the others. He was semi-detached from the other subjects, commenting on them the way anyone else would. But when it comes to the bank, he has a very different attitude and tone. Bitterness and a deep hatred permeate every word he says. I listen as attentively as I can. A lot of what he's saying is boilerplate stuff at first; the banks are greedy, they caused the crash, and then got a bailout for being stupid. He's reciting the complaints that pretty much everyone has had since 2008. Nothing new there. The vehemence and disgust is far worse. He's acting like it all happened yesterday, not a couple of years ago...

"And then you're gone, like yesterday's newspaper. Those bastards, they'll squeeze you like a lemon and toss you away. Bastards, all of them. And they're giving themselves bonuses when they should get a prison cell or a bullet to the head. Letting me go after years of work. Assholes…"

I listen to Phil continue with his rant, not daring to interrupt him. I wish I had my pen and notebook; God knows this is one time where he's saying something useful...

"And Gwen, how could I tell her? It's my job to provide for her and our family, and those bastards took that away from me. THEY TOOK HER AWAY FROM ME!"

I notice that there are tears in the corners of his eyes. This might be my chance to really understand what's going on and why Phil has done what he's done.

"What happened to Gwen?" I ask quietly, wanting to do nothing that could agitate him.

"The cancer…it came so fast…I didn't have time…the doctors couldn't…we couldn't afford… damn bank… wouldn't give us any help…."

Suddenly it all makes sense. Phil was fired by the bank he worked for, which just happens to be the Bank of New York and soon afterwards, his wife Gwen was diagnosed with cancer. He couldn't afford her bills. Now she's either dead or dying and all of his rage and pain and grief became too much to handle. I don't know what's triggered him now, but this why there is a bank full of hostages. This is why he's here. This is why all suggestions of money or transportation out of here have no appeal to him. Phil didn't take the bank hostage for money; he did it to send a message.

"Phil, I'm sorry for what happened to you." I tell him sincerely. No one should have to live through that.

He wipes the tears from his eyes and looks at me. His grief is rapidly becoming rage and anger.

Oh shit.

"YOU ASKED ME ABOUT GWEN! I TOLD YOU NOT TO ASK ME ABOUT GWEN!" He yells. Before I can move or apologize, he grabs the front of my shirt and presses the barrel of his gun up against my forehead.

"GIVE ME ONE GOOD REASON NOT TO BLOW YOUR HEAD OFF!" He roars at me, his finger starting to apply ever so slight pressure on the trigger. This is it. I'm staring at my own executioner…

"Jenny." I say suddenly. It's the first thing to come out of my mouth.

"What!?" He yells again, but this time confusion is mixed with anger.

"Jenny…I want to speak to my wife again." It's the most honest-to-God answer I can give.

"Why should I let you?" He snarls.

"Because you know what it's like to never be able to tell your wife you love them. To never be able to hear her voice again."

Phil's itchy trigger finger relaxes and he slowly moves the gun barrel back away from my head. I release the breath I didn't know I was holding.

The blind rage in Phil seems to have receded a bit. "I'll tell you what Kevin. We're going to make another deal. I'm going to let you talk to Jenny."

The relief I feel is overpowering, but short-lived. "What's the catch?" I ask with not a little fear.

A wicked smile plasters itself all over his face. If possible, my nervousness and fears only increase.

"I'm going to keep my word. Remember what I said earlier?"

I go through our previous conversations in my mind, going back to when I first asked Phil about marriage. Suddenly, a horrible realization dawns on me as I remember what his promise was: _"The next time you ask about that, I'll shoot someone."_

Before I can say anything, before I have time to think or plea or act, Phil makes good on his threat.

* * *

The distinct sound of gunfire ripples from inside the bank. Several people scream and the SWAT team desperately try to assess the situation and figure out what happened. The scene in front of the bank turns from one of the tedium of a long-running hostage situation to pandemonium in a matter of seconds.

The team from the 12th pushes their way towards Heath. Lanie and Jenny stay back, Jenny too much in shock and fear to move. By the time Castle, Beckett and Esposito reach Heath, the HR Sergeant has turned quail-faced in shock.

"What the hell happened?" Heath shouts into his microphone, still absorbing what's happened.

"Shot fired! Repeat, shot fired!"

"No shit." Heath says. "Can we confirm the shooter or the victim…Well then figure it out!"

"WHO WAS SHOT?" Esposito yells at Heath, unable to keep the fear and anger out of his voice.

"We don't know." Heath announces, sounding both small and pathetic. "It happened out of our line of sight."

Esposito is beyond furious at this point. He grabs the microphone from Heath. "Get some eyes on the inside of that damn bank!" Esposito roars down the microphone.

"We're trying Sir."

"Try fucking harder!"

"Yes sir."

Javier doesn't wait around for them to respond. He starts marching towards the bank.

Heath, deciding to be either very brave or very stupid, calls to him. "Stay back Detective. We don't know what just happened. Don't provoke him."

Esposito doesn't say a word, but he returns and slugs Heath across the jaw. The HR Sergeant staggers backwards. No one says a word, too shocked at what they just witnessed to do anything.

Satisfied that Heath will not be giving him any trouble right now, Esposito heads back to the front of the bank and peers inside. Unfortunately, he can't see what's happening inside. Phil and Kevin are nowhere to be seen. Neither are some of the hostages.

"Kevin!" He shouts, just wanting to see his partner and know that he is alright. "Kev, answer me!"

Silence. The hostages he sees are closing their eyes or too scared to look at him.

Right now, the only thing that Esposito wants to do is burst inside the bank, arrest Phil and make sure his partner is okay. But no matter how much Javier wants to, he can't do that. Any move by him or anyone else could turn the bank into a bloodbath, with Ryan the most likely first causality. The risks are simply too great for too many people. Once again feeling absolutely helpless, Esposito heads back to Beckett and Castle who have recovered from the shock of Esposito slugging Heath earlier than the others.

"Nothing. Couldn't see a damn thing." He shakes his head.

"Was it Ryan?" Castle asks with dread.

"I don't know." Esposito responds quietly.

"Alright, that's it." Beckett says in exasperation. She looks up to the other cops from HR. "Sergeant Heath is relieved of duty. We're taking over this situation." Beckett announces, her tone making it clear that there will be no argument. To her surprise and relief, no one argues. Most of HR has had it with Heath's foot-dragging; they want to do something too.

"Figure out what happened, and then I want a plan to take the gunman out." She orders.

"Yes ma'am." Heath's second-in-command says, leaving to follow her order.

* * *

The pain I'm in is indescribable. The closest thing I can think of to describe it would be if someone took a red-hot poker and stabbed it into my leg and even that doesn't do it justice. Every sound, every shout and scream of the other hostages, every noise from the outside world is gone as the all-consuming pain engulfs my entire being. I don't even hear myself shout in agony. Instinctively, my hands go to the gunshot, in my right thigh inches above the knee, trying to keep the blood from seeping out and trying to put enough pressure on it to make the pain go away.

Eventually, I don't know how long, but eventually the pain decreases just enough so that I can function and at least become aware again of my surroundings. Phil is standing over me, and a small bit of smoke is coming from the gun barrel. The gun that just shot me. Everyone else is huddled together, trying their best not to look or think about what just happened.

Phil bends down and grabs me under my arm pit. I'm too focused on the wound in my leg to put up any sort of resistance as he drags me to one of the conference tables in the bank. He puts me up against it, which allows me to sit upright, but it is also away from any windows, so that no one on the outside can see me. I don't know if anyone from outside saw what just happened, even if they heard it.

Phil squats down at my side, his gun still pointed at me while he glances back and forth around the bank, making sure that SWAT isn't coming to burst down the door or the hostages aren't trying anything funny. He puts a small square object in my hand. It's my cell phone.

"Call her." He orders me.

"What?" I ask hoarsely. I have no idea what he's talking about.

"Call Jenny. That was the deal."

"The…deal!" I say with disgust, trying hard to comprehend what he's doing. "I never…agreed to this…deal."

He shrugs. "I did. Call her now, or it'll cost you."

"Cost…cost me! You…just shot me!" I want to scream and yell at him but that would be a waste of strength that I don't have.

Phil is angry at me. "You call her or I will shoot someone else here. That's the deal!"

Not really having any choice, I nod and using my shaking hands, press down on the speed dial for Jenny's number.

* * *

_Slightly less of a cliff hanger this time. I've got most of Chapter 9 already written so it should be coming pretty soon. Stay tuned. _


	9. Finally a Deal

**Disclaimer**: _Castle_ and the recognizable characters are property of the folks at ABC and their creators who make a lot more money than I do. This is for pure entertainment purposes.

_Good day ladies and gents. Thanks again to all you readers, followers, and reviewers. Here's Chapter 9. Enjoy._

* * *

Chapter 9: Finally a Deal…

Jenny Ryan is almost in a state of full panic by this point. There was a definite gunshot in the bank, and no one can tell her anything about what happened. Don't they understand that her husband, her _Kevin_ is in there? She has a right to know if he is still okay.

A comforting hand grabs hers. It's Lanie's. Jenny had met Lanie a couple of times; the four of them went on a couple of double-dates and she always found the ME to be pleasant company. Today though, she's been a lifesaver. The whole time that Jenny's been with her, Lanie has provided comfort and support like a sister.

Jenny watches as Beckett takes over. Immediately, there is a new energy from the previously moribund Hostage Rescue team. That man Heath is standing around, still shell-shocked at both being slugged by Javier and relieved of duty by Beckett. Jenny is glad to see him go. When this whole thing is over she is going to have a serious talk with Kevin about some of the other people he works with.

_If he's alright_ she tells herself negatively. _Please _she prays _let me know that he's okay._ Just then, her phone begins to ring and she sees who is calling. It seems like Jenny's prayer is being answered.

"Oh my God!" She shouts. "It's Kevin!"

The others race over towards her. "Put it on speaker." Esposito tells her. Jenny complies.

"He…hello…" She barely manages to get the word out.

"Yes, is this Mrs. Jenny Ryan?" A strange voice is on the other end. It is definitely not Kevin.

"Yes…" She says with increasing fear and trepidation.

"Ah good. My name is Phil." _Oh God, this is the gunman!_ "Your husband and I have been having an interesting conversation over the past few hours and he's told me a little about you. Kevin wants to talk to you."

"Please let me speak with him." She pleads. Nothing else matters right now as long as she can hear his voice and know that he is okay.

"Don't worry Mrs. Ryan, I am. Hold on."

There is a quiet fumble on the other end of the line. Jenny's heart is pounding in her chest as she holds her breath in anticipation.

"Jen…Jenny." A weak, all too familiar voice calls her name.

"Kevin! Oh God! What happened?!" He sounds far too sluggish and weak and Jenny deep down knows already what went on inside the bank.

"I…I got shot…" He tells her, confirming her worst fears.

Jenny feels like she's going to faint. "Why? What's going on? Kevin, please talk to me."

"Jen…I don't have a lot of time. I…I wanted to let you know…I love you Jenny."

"I love you too Kevin." She tells him as the tears start to flow down her cheeks.

"If…if I don't make it…make it…I just wanted to hear your…your voice one more time… I love you so much…"

"Kevin I love you too. Please tell me you're going to be okay."

"I love you Jenny…"

"Kevin, tell me you're going to be okay!" She chokes out in a tear-filled voice full of desperation. She needs to hear the words from him. She needs him to tell her everything will turn out alright.

"Love you…" He mumbles his voice fading.

"Kevin!" She shouts his name on the verge of hysteria.

The fumbling noise is heard yet again. The other voice, the one belonging to the man who just shot her husband now speaks. "I'm sorry Mrs. Ryan, but it seems the Kevin is taking a little nap."

Jenny can't stand it anymore. She feels her phone being taken out of her hand and she clings to Lanie as an emotional lifeline. The ME doesn't complain as Jenny sobs on her shoulder.

Beckett is the one who grabbed the phone, although she, like the others is also struggling to keep their emotions in check.

It isn't Beckett though who gets the first words in. "What have you done to him you son of a bitch!" Esposito shouts at the phone, no longer able to control his anger and rage.

"You must be Javier, Kevin's partner. As you just heard, he's alive but not doing too well. That's all you need to know for now."

"What do you want in exchange for him?" Esposito asks angrily. They have to get Ryan out of there as soon as possible. "Another police hostage? Fine, you can have me, but you have to let him go so he can get medical help." Javier nearly pleads.

"Kevin is right about you, Detective Esposito. I'm sorry though, but you are in no position to be bargaining. And frankly, you don't have anything for me."

"WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WANT!?" Esposito roars at the man. In that moment, Javier decides that if he gets his hands on this guy, he will kill him. Without a moment's hesitation and he'll sleep damn well afterwards about it too. He won't care if Gates fires him or has him arrested. In Javier's mind, Phil deserves nothing but death for what he's done to his partner.

Phil just chuckles at Esposito's anger.

* * *

The roar from my partner is enough to shake me out of the blissful unconsciousness I was experiencing. It could be sleep, or dying, but I can't tell the difference at the moment. Everything is acting strange; even though I can hear Javier yelling it sounds like it's coming from far away, or underwater. I'm sweating and freezing at the same time, but am just too exhausted to shiver. If I cared enough, I could probably think about what's technically happening, but I just don't have the energy to care right now.

Through my heavy eyes that are fighting to close, I can see that Phil is enjoying the anger coming from my partner, but not as much as I thought he would. Phil is definitely unhinged, but he's not really sadistic. In his mind, shooting me in the leg is a perfectly acceptable trade for getting to talk to Jenny.

Awful deal for me though.

Listening to Javi and Phil argue gives me at least some time to think. Even though I want to dwell on my conversation with Jenny, I push it aside for now. I don't think it was Phil's intention, but letting me speak to Jenny has motivated me. I'm going to stay alive and _I am_ going to see her again and tell her how much I love her to her face.

Allowing my tired brain to process the information from what Phil said earlier, about the bank, and everything that happened with his wife Gwen, I'm somehow able to come up with an idea. It might work, it might not but it's the last card I have in my deck. If this fails, then SWAT is just going to have to shoot him. I don't know where that would put me, but it will probably be a moot point by then.

"Phil…" I try to get his attention. It takes a ton of effort to say his name and even then it comes out as little more than a whisper.

The gunman looks at me and then barks back into the phone "shut up, your partner wants something." He gives me his full attention. "What is it Kevin?"

"I…I think I…finally… have a deal for you…"

* * *

The minute or two when this bastard is talking to Ryan are some of the longest of Esposito's life. His conversation with this Phil character has nearly driven him to the breaking point. It's taking every ounce of restraint that Esposito has to not steal one of the sniper rifles and kill the sonofabitch himself, damn the consequences. Right now nothing: not the NYPD or the bank or the other hostages matters to Esposito. Right now, the only thing that matters to him is getting Kevin out of this as soon as possible.

"Javi…" The weak voice of his ailing partner comes back through the phone. It makes Javier's gut wrench to hear his partner in such an awful condition.

"Kev? What's going on? How are you holding up? What's…?"

"No time." Kevin interrupts in his raspy voice. "Listen… Javi, he wants a… statement from the bank …admitting guilt for his…wife Gwen's death… signed by the bank president…" His partner manages to get out the demand between panting breaths. It's clearly a struggle for Kevin to get the words out.

"Fine, it's a deal." Esposito declares with no hesitation.

"When…when he gets it…he'll let everyone go…"

"Even you?" Javier asks with trepidation.

"Me too…hey Javi…"

"Yeah bro?"

"Til the…til the wheels fall off…"

Before Esposito can respond, Phil barks down the line "You heard the man, get going." He then hangs up the phone.

"Til the wheels fall of partner." Esposito whispers. He's fighting very hard to contain his emotions. His partner sounded so frail and powerless. A horrible part of Javier feels like he'll never speak to Kevin again.

* * *

_A bit of a shorter chapter this time, but I hope it was still good. If you have any comments, questions, suggestions or ideas, don't hesitate to share. _


	10. But is it Too Late?

**Disclaimer**: _Castle_ and the recognizable characters are property of the folks at ABC and their creators who make a lot more money than I do. This is for pure entertainment purposes.

_Good day dear readers. Thanks again to all you readers, followers, and reviewers. Here's Chapter 10._

* * *

Chapter 10: But is it Too Late?

Vernon Graham, President of the Bank of New York, arrives on the scene in his own car, no chauffeur or any aides with him. The man seems troubled by everything that is going on, and more than a little fearful. Beckett, Esposito and Castle go over to him.

"Mr. Graham, I'm Detective Beckett we spoke on the phone."

"Yes Detective, glad to meet you and your team." He shakes hands with each of them. "So tell me, what can I do to help resolve this terrible situation?"

Beckett quickly explains Phil's request. Mr. Graham listens intently, not saying anything until she is done.

"My God." Mr. Graham says in shock.

"Can you help us Mr. Graham?"

Graham frowns "I'm terribly sorry for what has happened to this man, but we did not cause his wife's death. My bank did nothing wrong. We nearly collapsed back in 2008 but I didn't take a bailout; we just worked through it. I had to make a lot of very painful decisions and let go of some good people. I didn't take a salary myself for a year."

"Just lie." Castle suggests.

Mr. Graham shakes his head. "Sir, you are asking me to sign off on something saying I'm responsible for a woman's death from cancer. I am not."

"Mr. Graham." Esposito says with a calmness that surprises even him "There are over a dozen people in your bank being held hostage by this man. My partner is also inside there and he's been badly injured. We need your help sir to save his life and the lives of those other people. Please."

Graham stares long and hard at Esposito, wrestling with his conscience. Graham is not a bad person; he's just a businessman who had to make some very tough decisions while his whole industry was going to hell. It really is an awful thing that they are trying to force him to do; admit to the death of a person that is not his fault. But sometimes the greater good demands sacrifice.

Graham rubs his face. "Very well, Detective Esposito. Just get me access to a computer."

"There is one in the mobile command center." Beckett tells him.

"I'll help you with it." Castle volunteers, trying to be of some use.

"Thank you Mr. Castle." Graham replies and the two of them head off to satisfy the gunman's demand.

* * *

Phil keeps pacing about, muttering curses against his boss, the banks, and life in general. I can barely hear him, or even comprehend what he is saying. Either I've learned to tune him out, or more likely, I just can't concentrate on him anymore.

The throbbing from my leg has started to diminish and the pain is much more manageable. Conversely, these are both negatives; it means I've lost a lot of blood. My energy reserves are almost gone. The idea of sleep is becoming very, very tempting.

"Looks like your friends are coming through." Phil comments to me as he observes the scene outside.

I ignore him. All I want to do is forget the pain in my leg and close my eyes until this nightmare is over.

"Once I have that letter, everyone will be free to go. Doesn't that sound like a fair deal Kevin?"

_Shut up you lunatic_ I shout in my mind. If I wanted to actually shout at him, I couldn't do it. Yelling would require energy I don't have. I'm so sick of Phil and deals and this damned bank and all of it. I just want to rest; is that really so much to ask? My eyelids get heavier and heavier. I want to shiver from the cold that's enveloped me, but I'm too tired for even that kind of movement. The simple act of keeping my head upright is becoming a burden too. God, I've never felt this miserable in my entire life. I don't put up much of a fight against the desire to sleep. _I'll rest for just a minute_ I tell myself _just a minute until the others get here_…

* * *

Beckett and Esposito watch from outside the command trailer as Castle and Graham work on the letter. Both Detectives have reverted to full cop mode, putting all their fears and emotions about what's going on inside the bank to the side. The two cops force themselves to think of it as a standard situation, like the ones they trained for at the Academy. It's all a fantasy and illusion, but one they need to maintain.

Esposito fights hard to stay still. He replays the last conversation he had with Kevin in his head over and over again. There were so many things to say, and yet Javier couldn't say any of them. It wasn't only that that bastard Phil had cut their conversation off. No, some of what Javier wanted to say were the sort of things you tell someone when you aren't going to see them again. And Javier will be damned if his partner doesn't make it out of this.

Beckett glances over at Jenny, who is still being comforted by Lanie. She feels terrible for the other woman; before he left the Precinct what seems like a lifetime ago, Ryan had mentioned something about having a date night with Jenny. Beckett understands some of her pain. After all the years of working together, Beckett truly come to see Esposito and Ryan as the two brothers she never had. The thought of losing one of them, it's unbearable.

Luckily, Beckett doesn't have time to further dwell on that grim possibility. Castle and Graham return from the command center. The banker looks worn out from the exercise even as he carries the critical piece of paper.

"Here's the wretched letter." He hands it to Beckett with disgust.

"Mr. Graham, you have our sincerest thanks."

He waves a dismissive hand. "Just get those people out of my bank safely and we'll call it even. Is there anything else I can do for you Detective Beckett?"

"No Mr. Graham."

"Thank God. I'll take my leave then. I need to go home and be with my wife and children. Excuse me." The banker makes a hasty retreat back to his car.

Beckett examines the letter that Graham gave her. Castle's writing style is evident throughout. It isn't a long letter, one page, but it should be enough to satisfy Phil. Beckett picks up her cell phone and dials Ryan's number, feeling slightly sick that it will be a hostage-taker who shot one of her detectives who answers it.

"Well that didn't take too long." Phil comments, not bothering with introductions.

"I want to talk to Detective Ryan." Beckett announces.

"No can do. Do you have it?"

"Why can't I talk to Detective Ryan?" Beckett asks with not a little fear.

"Because I said so. Do you have it?" Phil repeats.

"Yes." Beckett answers.

"Very good Detective Beckett."

"Now will you release the hostages?"

"Not quite yet. I want someone to hand-deliver the letter to me."

"Fine, I'll send in one of…"

"No, no Detective. It isn't your choice. I get to choose who delivers the letter."

"Who do you want?" She refuses to concede to Phil before she knows exactly what he's asking for.

"I've never met anyone famous. How about your writer friend?"

"You want Castle to deliver the letter?" She asks, trying to comprehend his request.

"10 points Detective Beckett. Yes I want him to deliver it."

"Done." Castle says before anyone else has time to react. Beckett glares at him.

"Wonderful. I'll be waiting." Phil hangs up.

Beckett turns to the writer. "Castle are you sure you're up to this? This guy is dangerous and he's shown that he's willing to shoot." She can't keep the concern out of her voice.

"Ryan is in deep trouble in there. Me playing postman is a small price to pay to get him out." He responds.

Beckett is torn between two distinct emotions. She wants to throttle Castle for agreeing to Phil's demand, but they also don't really have any other option. Ryan is running out of time; the sooner they get Phil his letter, the sooner they can get Ryan the help he needs. Knowing it is the only real option, Beckett accepts it as _fait accompli_ "Fine, grab your vest."

The writer goes to retrieve the bulletproof vest and returns with it on. Beckett hands him the precious letter. "Be careful." She whispers, leaning forward to give him a quick kiss on the cheek as she does so.

Castle swallows his nerves as he heads towards the front doors of the bank, letter in hand. More than most people, he understands the power of the written word and the effects it can have on people. Still, the idea that this 'Phil', who they still don't even fully know, would take an entire bank hostage for hours on end, end it only when he's given this letter and in the meantime shoot an innocent man is beyond Castle's comprehension.

_Not just any innocent man_ he corrects himself, this is Ryan. Castle has grown fond of both of Beckett's partners since he started shadowing her at the precinct. It's clear they care for Beckett and would do anything to protect her, and to Castle that's more than enough. Beyond that though, he genuinely likes both Esposito and Ryan. He would never admit it publicly, but Esposito still intimidates the hell out of him. It's not so bad with Ryan; the Irish Detective has an easy-going personality that definitely grows on you, at least it has on Castle.

The writer takes a deep breath as he pushes the door to the bank open. Since darkness has long since fallen on the City, only the fluorescent lights above offer any illumination inside. Castle can see people on the floor, trying to keep quiet and calm. The only person standing is the gunman.

"Ah, you must be Mr. Castle." Phil says with the ghost of a smile.

Castle doesn't even put up the front of friendliness. His eyes glance around the bank, absorbing the situation further. Since he's been in a bank standoff before, as a hostage, most of it is pretty familiar to him. It does bring back some unpleasant memories for sure. But the one person he's really looking for he can't see.

"Where's Detective Ryan?" He asks Phil.

"Letter first."

Castle hands Phil the letter. The gunman unfolds it and starts reading it quickly. A malicious smile breaks out across his face.

"HA! Now you see Mr. Castle, they'll have to arrest him. He admitted it on paper." Phil is almost giddy with excitement. He's experiencing a severe case of _schadenfreude_ or taking great pleasure in the misfortune of others.

"It's your turn to fulfill your side of the deal Phil." Castle reminds him.

Phil continues to stare at the letter, his prize, and doesn't really acknowledge the writer. He finishes reading the piece of paper and refolds it to put in his pocket.

"Alright Mr. Castle, a deal's a deal." Phil comes forward and offers Castle the weapon.

"Put it on the ground." Castle orders. There's no way he is going to get his prints all over the weapon and compromise evidence. Beckett would kill him.

"Kick it away slowly."

Phil complies again.

Now that the man is unarmed, Castle turns back towards the front of the bank. Out into the darkness he waves his hands and gives the "all clear" signal. Phil doesn't seem to notice. He unfolds the letter from his pocket again and continues to read his prize.

Ignoring Phil, Castle starts moving around in the bank, trying to find Ryan.

When he does spot the Irish Detective, Castle is at a loss for words.

* * *

_Yes I'm being a bad person and stretching that out just a little bit longer. Don't worry though; I have Monday off so don't be surprised if Chapter 12 appears quickly. Until then, enjoy the weekend._


	11. Hope and Pray

**Disclaimer**: _Castle_ and the recognizable characters are property of the folks at ABC and their creators who make a lot more money than I do. This is for pure entertainment purposes.

_I've never believed that patience is a virtue dear readers, so I decided not to make you wait. As always I appreciate everyone who stops by. Here's Chapter 11._

* * *

Chapter 11: Hope and Pray

Beckett and Esposito watch Castle very carefully as he goes inside to hand Phil the letter. Since she's taken over, Beckett is not taking any changes; she ordered the SWAT snipers that if Phil so much as sneezed the wrong way to take him out. One way or another, this is ending.

The two Detectives watch on pins and needles as Castle gives Phil the letter. The gunman's eyes scan the piece of paper. He then moves closer to Castle, offering to hand him the gun. Beckett is proud of the writer when Castle makes Phil throw the weapon aside. Castle gives them the signal and the two Detectives and the rest of HR prepare to head inside. Behind them, two sets of ambulances and two teams of paramedics are standing by. Beckett had called them after they knew what had happened to Ryan.

Right before Esposito heads inside, a hand grabs his arm. It's Jenny.

"Javier…"

Anticipating her request, Esposito has had time to think it over "Jenny, I need you to wait out here."

"Javi…"

"Jenny please. I know, God help me I know, but we don't know how safe it is or if there are any other surprises in there. I promise you, we'll bring Kevin back out here alive."

She doesn't like it, but Jenny nods. She'll have to wait to see her husband just a little longer.

Weapons ready and Kevlar vests on, Beckett looks to Esposito. "You ready?" She asks.

"More than ready."

"Alright!" Beckett announces to the HR team. "Make sure Phil is disarmed and get the hostages out of there. Detective Esposito and I will take care of Detective Ryan. Let's go!"

Beckett and Esposito are the first to go in, followed by the rest of HR. They spot Phil who looks up from his letter and has an insincere smile painted on his face.

"Wel…" Before he gets the first word out, Esposito points the barrel of his gun between Phil's eyes.

"Say one word. Say one damn word." Esposito snarls at him. Inside, he's practically begging for Phil to try something; it would give Esposito the justification he needs to kill the bastard. Although, to Esposito, everything that has happened tonight is more than enough reason to pull the trigger.

"Espo, stand down." Beckett orders.

Esposito stares long and hard at Phil, weighing his options. Finally, after thinking it over more than once, he pulls his piece back from Phil's head.

Phil raises his hands and is swiftly arrested. The other hostages begin to finally move out of the bank where they had been held for over 5 hours.

With Phil and the hostages taken care of, Beckett gets a good look at Castle. Thankfully, the writer is completely unharmed, but he doesn't even notice her. She sees his face and realizes that he's staring in shock and horror. Esposito and Beckett join him and they too experience a moment of shock at the sight before them.

Leaning up against one of the desks in the lobby is Ryan. The Irish Detective looks like hell; he's pale and sweating, with his eyes closed, his head sagging and his chest rising and falling unsteadily. His skin is the color of his grey suit, and his white shirt has a crimson smear on it. The worst part though, is the ugly gunshot wound right above his knee. Far too much blood has leaked out of the wound and created a red puddle underneath Kevin's leg.

"Ryan!" Esposito rushes over to his ailing partner. He grabs the other man's hand. Kevin doesn't respond to the presence of his partner, heightening Esposito's anxieties.

"Kevin, bro, I need you to wake up." Esposito starts gently tapping Ryan's cheek, desperate to get him awake. "Come on partner, look at me!"

* * *

My rest is interrupted by the annoying feeling of a _tap, tap, tap_ on my cheek. I'm so damned tired. Why can't the world just leave me alone and let me sleep?

Over the pounding in my head, I hear a very familiar voice calling out my name. Opening my eyes, I see a Hispanic man looking at me with a frantic concern. He's grasping my hand.

"Javi…" I barely am able to croak out his name on my dry tongue.

"Ryan… stay with me partner!"

"Tired…" I mumble, my heavy eyelids starting to sink once again.

"I know, but you need to stay awake for me alright? Can you do that Kevin?"

I want to say yes, or nod, or do something to show Javi that I'm trying, but speaking hurts and I'm feeling really nauseous. If I make any quick head movement, I'll probably throw up. So I decide just to stare at my partner, hoping he gets the message I'm trying to convey.

"Good Kevin, just stay with me." He squeezes my hand, understanding what I want to say. The worry in his voice makes my stomach turn. I squeeze his hand back, but even I can tell that the pressure is negligible and weak. God, I'm so tired.

Two EMT's come up to us and start looking me over. The first one is checking my vital signs rattling off numbers and stats that I don't understand. The other one cuts a hole in my pants to examine the gunshot. This one takes out some gauze and starts applying pressure to my wounded leg. The dull, aching numbness I had been feeling in my leg is gone. In its place is a terrible pain that makes me cry out in agony. It's the worst I've felt since the initial gunshot. I squeeze Javier's hand as tightly as I can, trying desperately to transfer some of the pain. I look up at my partner, hoping, praying that he can get them to stop and leave me alone. It's then that I notice silent tears sliding down the side of his face. Including now, I can count on one hand, with fingers to spare, the number of times I've known Javier Esposito to have ever cried. It's one of the most terrible sights I've ever seen. I must be in really bad shape for Javi to be acting like this.

Forcing myself to stay awake, I can't look at Javier in tears anymore. The sight of him crying is extremely unnerving. Trying to focus on anything other than my partner's tears or what the medics are doing to me, I look behind Javi to see Beckett and Castle standing there, looking at me with equal concern. Beckett has grasped Castle's arm tightly, and tears are in her eyes as well. I want to tell her and Javi to stop crying; I don't want to be the cause of all this hurt and angst from my teammates.

While one of the EMTs works on my leg, the other lifts my head away from the desk ever so slightly and places an oxygen mask around my face. It suddenly becomes slightly easier to breathe, and I relish the fresh supply of oxygen. They tear open my shirt and attach several electrodes to my chest to monitor my heart rate. The two EMTs are talking to each other, but I don't hear what they are saying. The one who has been working on my leg has mercifully stopped, although the pain is still here. The two of them together lift me off the floor and onto the soft stretcher that they brought. I hadn't even noticed it being there.

I'm vaguely aware that the stretcher is moving, carrying me out of this awful bank which has served as my prison all night. Everything outside is giant blur of sight and sound. I can't even really see much anymore and I don't notice much of what is happening to me. That is, except for when another hand grasps mine. It isn't as strong as Javier's and even though I can't see who it is, I have a pretty good idea.

"Kevin!" Just like I thought, it's Jenny. I tilt my head over to look at her. Her face is fuzzy, but I can tell that she is also crying. Once again, I'm the cause of more misery and worry. God I must have made some kind of horrible mistake.

I want to respond, to tell her that I'll be okay, to stop her tears and calm her anxieties, but that is all beyond my ability now. In fact, the thought of sleep returns with a vengeance. Knowing that my partner and the love of my life are both here with me, I have a feeling that things are finally going to get better. Still grasping both of their hands, I fall back into blissful unconsciousness.

* * *

They arrive at the hospital and Kevin is immediately taken into surgery. The paramedics back at the bank had told Javier the basics of Kevin's condition. The Hispanic Detective wasn't entirely sure of the more technical jargon they used, but he got the main point; Kevin's injury is very serious.

Two hours after arriving at the hospital, the five of them are still in the waiting room outside of the ER. It's well past midnight after a long, exhausting day, but no one is in much of a mood to sleep, at least not until they hear something, anything about Kevin's condition.

Their patience is rewarded when a tall, balding older man comes to them. Dressed in a white coat and a suit, he seems to be someone of importance.

"Excuse me." He says in a British accent. "I'm Dr. William Howard, the head of the ER. Are you the group that is here for Detective Kevin Ryan?"

They look up at him and Javier slowly nods.

"Well, I wanted to give you an update on Kevin's condition."

Five faces stare at him, bracing for the worst and hoping for the best.

"I realize you have had a very long evening so I'll be brief. Detective Ryan made it through his surgery. The bullet wound entered his right thigh so there was a lot of muscle damage, but luckily, nothing vital. We were more concerned about the blood loss. Detective Ryan has Type A Positive blood, which is relatively rare but we gave him a transfusion and will be monitoring that closely. He was also dehydrated so we have him on an IV to get him the fluids he needs."

"Is he going to be alright?" Jenny asks nervously.

Dr. Howard weighs his words carefully. "Don't worry my dear, he should be fine, but it will be a long time before he is 100% again. The best thing for Detective Ryan at this point is rest. We have him sedated right now and he is resting peacefully."

The signs of relief are visible on every face. However, Dr. Howard is not finished. "I know you all want to see him as soon as possible. Unfortunately, it is my opinion that we give him some more time to rest as we continue to monitor his vitals. There is still a risk of infection with his wound that I know everyone wants to avoid. I informed Dr. Caldwell, who runs our night shift, to let you in as soon as it is a viable option."

While that isn't the best news, it can be dealt with; Kevin is alive and safe and right now, that is really all that matters.

"I must take my leave, but I will leave my card with you. Please don't hesitate to call me for any reason. Mayor Weldon himself asked me to take this case on as a personal favor to him so if there is anything I can do, just let me know."

Dr. Howard hands his card to Jenny and heads back down the hall.

Beckett looks at Castle "Did you…"

The writer shakes his head "No. I didn't even tell the Mayor…"

The two of them start to contemplate that particular mystery, wondering why Mayor Weldon would involve himself in Ryan's hospital stay.

While Detective and writer think it over, Javier gets up and walks away. He can't be let in to see Ryan but he also is not going to just sit around here waiting.

"I'll be back in just a bit." He mumbles, not really caring if anyone knows where he is, but he also doesn't want them to worry about him. Javier wanders past the coffee maker, the bathrooms and the cafeteria. He finds himself entering into the hospital chapel. Despite not being too familiar with the place, Javier does find it's quiet, sanctified air much more peaceful than the waiting area.

Javier is not a very religious person. Yes he's a Catholic and a believer, but one who almost never goes to church except on Easter and at Christmas. He was somewhat surprised when he found out that Kevin is much more religious than he lets on. Javier doesn't remember how they got on the topic, but he does remember Kevin mentioning that he and Jenny try attend Mass every Sunday and that he would go to Confession every once and a while. Javier had noticed how Kevin never ate meat on Fridays during Lent, but Javier had assumed it was just a carry-over from Kevin's days in Catholic school. Even though he doesn't practice, Javier would never tease his partner about this. It's obviously something that Kevin takes seriously and is also fairly private about. If it helps Kevin get through the day, who is Javier to judge?

Reflecting on its importance to his partner, Javier makes the Sign of the Cross. He starts off a little hesitantly but gradually finds what it is he wants to say:

"God, I don't do this very often, but please, I'm asking You to look after Kevin. I know You hear from him a lot more than from be, but please bring him back. He's more than a partner to me; he's the brother I never had. Just make it so that he'll be okay..."

In the silence of the chapel, Javier continues to pray.

* * *

_A little less of a cliff hanger this time around. If you have any ideas, comments, suggestions or anything in between, don't hesitate to share them. _


	12. Time Together

**Disclaimer**: _Castle_ and the recognizable characters are property of the folks at ABC and their creators who make a lot more money than I do. This is for pure entertainment purposes.

_Hello again folks. As always I really appreciate everyone's interest in this story. Here is Chapter 12, which also turned out to be much longer than I anticipated. Enjoy._

* * *

Chapter 12: Time Together

An hour or so after Dr. Howard came by, a new doctor, this one a younger woman, comes up to the group, or at least most of the group. Javier still hasn't come back from wherever it is that he has gone to.

The doctor looks at the four people sitting there with sympathy. Like everyone else, she knows the story of these people and the man they are there to see. The doctor smiles; her young patient is very lucky that he has a family like this to care for him. "Good evening, I'm Dr. Melissa Caldwell and I was told by Dr. Howard to let you all know when you can see Detective Ryan."

The four of them: Jenny, Beckett, Castle and Lanie all stand up.

"You can go in now but I must warn you, he's still sleeping off the effects of the sedatives. I'm sure Dr. Howard told you this as well, but he does need is rest. He also won't look too good right now, but we are providing him with the best care possible. Follow me please."

Dr. Caldwell leads them down the hall to Kevin's room. That is, until Castle stops and gently squeezes Beckett's hand.

"Where's Esposito?"

She shrugs. "I don't know."

"I'm going try and find him; he'll want to see Kevin." Beckett nods and smiles, appreciating Castle's concern for her partner. Castle heads off, walking down the hall to try and find the missing detective.

Dr. Caldwell opens the door to Kevin's room and the three women head in.

The room is quiet and sterile. The only noise is coming from the heart monitor attached to the sleeping Ryan. As for Ryan himself, the detective is looking better than he was when Beckett, Castle and Esposito found him in the bank. He doesn't look so deathly pale anymore and all traces of blood are gone. But in other ways, he's not doing great. He is still using an oxygen mask to breathe and the ugly bruise on his face where Phil hit him much earlier has returned in full force. As Dr. Caldwell had told them, Kevin is still sedated, hopefully giving him the rest he needs and relief from his pain.

Jenny comes up to his bedside, and sits in the chair that is available. She gently grabs his hand. By this point in the night, she is so exhausted that she doesn't even cry seeing him like this. Instead, she takes his limp hand and gently uses it to caress her cheek. It almost feels like Kevin is doing it by himself. She continues with the comforting motion for a few moments before laying Kevin's hand back down on the blanket. She leans forward and softly kisses him on the lips. Her heart breaks a little when it has no noticeable effect on him. She knows of course that he is asleep, but a not small part of her hoped that it would help him awaken. Jenny then entwines his motionless hand into hers. Very quietly, she tells him how much she loves him and how much she wants him to wake up.

The other two women stay back, letting Jenny have the moment with her husband.

* * *

Castle heads to the reception desk to ask the nurse where Javier is. He's already tried the cafeteria and the other spots where the detective might've gone, but so far, he hasn't found Esposito.

"Oh him, yes I believe I saw him heading towards the chapel. Go down the hall, past the double doors on the left and take the next right. The chapel will be right there." The receptionist directs him.

Following her instructions he finds the quiet chapel. Esposito is the only one inside. Castle hesitates for a moment; if Esposito is praying, than the writer doesn't want to disturb him. Luckily, the detective notices Castle, gets out of the pew and heads towards him.

"Sorry, I didn't want to disturb you if you're in the middle of something." Castle says.

Esposito shakes his head. "I finished a while ago; just didn't feel like going back into the waiting room."

Castle nods. "Right, well they're letting us visit Kevin now."

"Good, let's go."

As the two men walk down the hallway, Castle can't resist indulging his own curiosity. "I didn't know you were much into praying Esposito."

The detective shrugs. "I'm not, but Kevin is. I know he'd appreciate it if someone would do that for him."

It's a simple explanation, but one that really strikes a chord with Castle. It really goes to show how close Javier and Kevin really are. The writer considers both of them to be good friends, but friendship doesn't even come close to describing the tight bond between the two detectives. Castle has compared them to a married couple, but more out of mirth than seriousness. In reality, the bond between them is like that of two very close brothers.

By the time Castle finishes with that thought, they are at Kevin's room. The three women are all around the bed, looking at Kevin's unconscious figure. Jenny is gently stroking her thumb over the top of his hand, always staying in physical contact with him. Lanie and Beckett are in the two chairs on the other side of the bed. All three women are silent.

Castle heads over to be with Beckett, but Javier just stands there near the front door. His mouth tight and fists clenched. His partner should not be lying in a hospital bed, recovering from a gunshot wound. He shouldn't have been a hostage all evening to a disturbed gunman. It isn't right. This whole evening just isn't right.

Noticing that Javier isn't moving, Lanie gets up quietly and goes over to him. She gently grabs onto his arm.

"You know it's rude to stand in doorways Javier." She whispers to him.

He lets out a long, tired sigh but otherwise doesn't respond, not taking his eyes off his sleeping partner.

"Come on Javi, sit with me." She leads him to the chairs so they can join the others and wait.

* * *

I'm floating, lighter than air one a sea of darkness. There's nothing here; no people, no sound, no memories and most of all no pain. I don't know how long I'm floating here, since time doesn't really mean much, but it is restful and I'm in no hurry to do much of anything.

It could be an hour or days but I've been drifting along like a leaf on the river. A part of me wishes I could stay like. It's peaceful and quiet, and of all the cares and concerns of the world are far away. And especially no pain; the only memory I have is of this terrible, nearly all-consuming pain. If floating here in this sea of black is keeping me from feeling that again, then I'll stay here forever.

But it turns out fate has a different idea. The feeling of floating stops and I'm suddenly anchored in place. The silence that had been all encompassing is slowly replaced by a steady _beep, beep_ noise. Other sensations start to come back as well. I can feel a cool air on my face, something covering my mouth and several things attached to my chest. I also feel something entwined in my hand.

Not sure of what is going on I try and open my eyes. It turns out to be one of the hardest things I've ever done. Each eyelid feels like there is a heavy weight on it. I have to use every ounce of my concentration just to perform this simplest task. Finally, I force my tired eyes to open. I'm only able to open them to mere slits, but it is enough to tell that wherever I am is very bright. As my eyes adjust to the light, instead of one giant white blur, things start to take shape. I can't really make out anything definitive, but for some reason, I feel safe.

There is some kind of commotion, but I don't know what it is about. I can hear and see, but my exhausted brain can't process what's going on or remember any reason for it. Even stranger, I'm feeling tired again. I want to fight the urge to sleep; I just woke up and I need to know what's happened and what is going on. However, fighting against it turns out to be hopeless. Although it is the last thing I want to do, I find myself starting to fall asleep again.

Before I succumb to the sleep my body is asking for, another presence makes itself known. I feel something very close to my ear.

"Sleep well Kevin, I love you." The voice is loving, familiar and safe.

I fall asleep with a smile on my face.

* * *

It was only for a moment, but for Jenny, it was enormously important. She saw the twitching going on behind Kevin's eyelids and she prayed fervently for him to finally wake up. Jenny is finally awarded for her patience as she sees Kevin's eyes flicker open. He can't say anything with the oxygen mask still on, and he didn't look at her, but he woke up.

Unlike in the movies, where a person wakes up and immediately starts talking and acting normal, Kevin was awake for no more than a minute before falling back asleep. Despite that, Jenny is hugely grateful. While she doesn't have a medical degree, Jenny knows that there is a difference between sleep under the influence of sedatives and natural sleep. It's very important that Kevin rests without the need of drugs.

After telling her husband she loves him, Jenny looks up to see the others sitting there, looking hopeful and optimistic. Despite knowing them for several years, she is still amazed at the loyalty and dedication that they show each other. Kevin once mentioned the team as his family, and after the events of the past hours, Jenny sees it too. She also can see the fatigue that they all are feeling. All of them have, in their own ways, been taking care of her over these many hours. Now it is her turn to look after them.

Clearing her throat, Jenny gets their attention. "I can't thank you all enough for what you've done for Kevin and me tonight, but now that I know he can wake up, I want you to go home and get some rest."

She hastily continues to try and head off what she expects will be a chorus of disagreement. "I know it means the world to Kevin that you've been here, but it's already 2:00 in the morning. Go home and sleep for a bit. Please."

Three of them don't put up an argument. After the roller-coaster of emotions that everyone has been through, exhaustion has become a very heavy weight for all of them. Although they would all stay if Jenny asked them to, her blessing to leave is certainly a relief. Beckett, Lanie and Castle all stand up and begin to head out, promising to stop by and see Kevin later in the morning.

Javier is still silent. He isn't leaving; the others can go and rest, but Esposito is not leaving his partner. At least, not without a fight.

"Javi, that applies to you too." Jenny tells him gently.

He shakes his head. "Jenny, he's my partner; I'm not going to leave him."

"You aren't Javi; you were there all night and you helped get him out safely. He would want you to take care of yourself."

Javier stares long and hard, weighing his options and whether or not he really wants to fight or argue with Jenny. If it was earlier in the evening or his stress levels weren't maxed out from everything that's gone on, then Javier would stay. But a bone-deep tiredness has descended on him. He'll be falling asleep before too long whether it is here or at home. And he knows that his bed is far more comfortable than these hospital chairs.

"Fine Jenny, but I'll be back in a couple of hours."

Despite herself, Jenny can't help but smile. He wouldn't be Javier if he wasn't racing back here as soon as he is able to. He bends down and gives Jenny a one-armed hug, as she still won't relinquish her hold on Kevin's hand.

Javier turns back to her as he's nearly out the door. "Call me any time for any reason Jenny."

"Thanks Javier."

* * *

The next time I manage to wake up, I'm more cognizant than before, and it isn't nearly as hard as it was the first time. I feel a gentle touch as fingers run through my hair. Focusing my tired eyes, I see that they belong to the person I want to see more than anyone else in the world.

"Jenny…"I mumble through what feels like a mask. The hand that was running through my hair stops and comes down to take the mask off, allowing me to breathe on my own. I look at Jenny's smiling face. God she's beautiful.

"Hey Kev." She says to me gently.

"What…where am I?" I'm barely able to get the words out; my throat feels like someone took sandpaper to it.

"You're in the hospital Kevin." She tells me.

As I become more awake and aware of what's going on, Jenny's explanation makes sense. The room has the smell of antiseptics and feels sterile. Everything is white or off-white. The beeping noise from earlier is still there, which must be my heart monitor. I look down to see the wires attached to my chest and the IV in my arm. Those must have been the things that I felt earlier.

I have a million questions to ask Jenny, but before I can, she starts to get up. I tighten my grip on her hand; I just found her again. I don't want to lose sight of her.

"Don't." I beg and then cough. She pats my hand and gets me a cup of water. Neither of us trusts my hands to keep control of the glass so Jenny carefully pushes it up to my lips. I'm grateful for the feeling of the cool liquid as it goes down my bone-dry throat.

"It's alright Kevin; I'm just going to call your doctor." She reassures me and then smiles. With that smile, she could tell me she was going skydiving off the Brooklyn Bridge and I'd believe her.

Fortunately all she does is reach over and push a button that I hadn't seen earlier. A woman comes in wearing the famous white coat, so I guess she's the doctor.

"Good morning Kevin, I'm Dr. Caldwell. You've had quite an evening young man. How are you feeling?"

I take a moment to really examine myself. I'm still exhausted, like I just ran a marathon and I feel really sluggish. My throat hurts, I have a headache, and there is a sharp, throbbing ache in my leg. But, I'm alive.

"I'm alright." I mumble to the doctor.

Dr. Caldwell gives me a look that I swear could have come from either Beckett when she is in boss mode or Captain Gates on any normal day. "You aren't fooling me Detective Ryan. Let me guess: headache, fatigue, pain in the radius of the wound, and I'll include a sore throat just to be sure. Did I tick off all the boxes?"

I look at the doctor in shock, having lost my capacity to speak.

"That's what I thought. Well, rest assured we're taking good care of you. Now let me just do a quick check on everything."

She begins looking me over, checking my vitals and whatever else it is that she feels needs checking. I don't really notice to the doctor; my attention is completely on Jenny. I've never seen her look so exhausted, and she's wearing the same clothes she was wearing yesterday. She never left my side. God, I really don't deserve her.

Dr. Caldwell finishes her exam. "Everything looks good so far. I think we can remove the oxygen mask now and let you breathe on your own Kevin. The most important thing for you to do is rest, and I have no doubts that with the painkillers you're taking you will be doing a lot of resting. Do not, I repeat, do not exert yourself. Your body has gone through considerable trauma and the last thing I need you doing is tearing the stitches in your leg. Just press the button if you need anything. Is all of that clear?"

I nod quickly. I wonder if Dr. Caldwell was a nun in a previous life, because right now, she is acting exactly like the Sisters that taught me in Catholic school.

"Good, I'll leave you two alone." The doctor gets up and leaves. Now it is just Jenny and me.

"Jenny." I grab a hold of her hand.

"Yes Kevin?"

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." I say quietly.

She gets a curious expression on her face and doesn't respond for a moment. I'm about to continue apologizing when she suddenly wraps her arms around me and embraces me in a deep hug. She buries her face in my shoulder and I hear her weeping softly.

"I was so sacred I lost you." She whispers, breaking my heart.

"I'm sorry Jenny. I'm sorry." I keep repeating the apology in my hoarse voice, hoping it can assuage her fears and earn me her forgiveness.

After a few minutes, her tears have subsided, but she still hasn't relinquished her hold on me.

"Jenny, I want you to do me a favor."

"What is it Kevin?"

"I want you to go home and get some sleep."

At this, she pulls back and looks at me with a puzzled face.

"I know you haven't gone home. You need some sleep."

"But what about you Kevin?"

I smile fully at her. How did I get so lucky that a woman as wonderful as her loves me?

"I'll be fine." I tell her. It's true; my eyes are getting heavy again and I'll probably be asleep before too long.

Jenny runs her hand through her hair and then starts to stand up.

"Alright Kevin, I'll head home, but I'll be back soon."

"Take your time." I don't want her rushing back here right away when the best thing for her is a good solid eight hours of sleep.

She leans over and kisses me on the cheek. "I love you Kevin."

"I love you too Jenny."

With one final squeeze of my hand, she starts making her way out of the room. While I really didn't want her to go, it's for the best. She's had to worry and wait on me far too much in the last few hours. Now she needs to take care of herself.

She's barely out of the room before I start falling asleep again. Our conversation exhausted me, and my memories of what happened are starting to come back. I don't want to have to deal with that or face up to it right now; there will be plenty of time for that later.

Alone in my hospital room, I don't stay awake too long. The steady sound of my heart monitor lulls me back asleep.

* * *

_Like I said, a bit longer than I've been posting. If you have any ideas, comments, suggestions or anything in between, don't hesitate to share them._


End file.
